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Game 8

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:45 pm

September 1707

Honour:
Emperor of Hispania still on top providing solid proof that Lord Fong’s assertion that western barbarians don’t understand honour may be right… The Electoral Prince of Hanover and The King of France are both close behind.

Versailles:
Many snails were eaten in celebration of various royal birthdays. Khatt remained the talk of the court, with suggestions that drugging peasants instead of feeding them might improve the economy.

France finally admits it too is baffled by what is going on in Ingria, and decides that sending a French Cardinal as an ambassador should help.  Many others think that this is a couple of months early to send a fat, old white guy in red, particularly if there aren’t any presents involved.

French artists arted a lot.

France seems to think English prisoners need exercise, since it is now marching them back to the coast.

London:
Some librarian from the master general’s office of ordinance has purportedly been kidnapped.  Or killed. Or made to eat English cooking which is about the same.

Hull:
A Royal Society ball is being organized. Funds are being raised which will go to the Royal Society. Really. Truly. We completely promise.

Hamburg:
The city council, having failed to pay for a spine upgrade, immediately reverse their decision to join Prussia. They beg Prussia not to be mad that they took the bribes but didn’t do the deed. “It’s not our fault we are invertebrates. We won’t develop spines for another couple of hundred years.”

Hanover:
Stop the presses! Queen Anne is here, and apparently is on time!

Prussia:
Demonstrating that they have enough spine for everybody, they insult “Viennese dolts” for objecting to Hamburg selling themselves out.

Vienna:
Hispanic Ambassador oozed his way into court to offer more jewelry to the princess.

Melk:
Emperor Leopold did something with an abbey in Melk. Nobody even knows where in the blazes Melk is.

Moscow:
Muscovites are now praying for the Tsar’s safe return. World wonders when “paying the Tsar’s ransom” will occur to them.

Lisbon:
The court drank outside. The court drank inside. Eventually the men got bored and went drinking while watching the ritual slaughter of livestock at “bull fights”.

Viseu:
A cathedral and a market square were refurbished here. Populace begs for one-way road out of small backwards town in Portugal.

Gondor:
When it is reported that the monks have gone missing en route, the emperor offers prayers, then quietly whispers, “plenty more where they came from.”

West coast of Africa:
French ambassador wanders around visiting African kingdoms lying to them. Tells oldest joke in colonial book, “We promise to leave you alone.”

Muscat:
Omani close their army camp which is probably good, since Muscat isn’t theirs!

Isfahan:
Shah throws party, confusing European ambassadors. If nobody gets drunk and vomits in the shrubberies, how can it be a party?

Delhi:
+1 baby girl, -1 princess

Laswari:
Russians give 3 mud dab huts to the Moghul. Both agree to tell everyone it was actually 4 huts.

Lahari Bandar:
Maharatan field army of 14 matchlock battalions, 22 lancer squadrons, ten artillery, and 3 elephants arrive.  Both fishing boats still refuse to engage Moghul blockade. Explain that the heavy rain interrupts their hashish smoking and is no weather to fight in.

Quebec:
French offering natives small pox vaccinations. It is almost like they’re trying to prevent the judgment of God from killing off all the brown people.

Moghul:
Promise to investigate death of prince. Top men are on it. Top men.


Last edited by Deacon on Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rozwi_Game10
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Re: Game 8

Post by Rozwi_Game10 on Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:53 am

lol!

Steps have been taken so some Yorkshire bloke doesn't get the blame if the raised funds go missing at Hull. All monies were collected and recorded in the presence of the vicar, and the ledger book went home with him too. I also wanted copies handed in to the local magistrate! A request for armed government types to come and collect the money from Hull and take it back to London for safe delivery has also been made.

And if anyone reading this sends a spy to muck up my 'back covering' attempts, I'll be really, really cross Evil or Very Mad  [though I could just blame that Scotch bloke, who insulted me, as the obvious culprit Twisted Evil ]

Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:26 am


I say bring G8 in line with G7 & G10.............blame the Scots for everything.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:29 pm

I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm

Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Well, if they sobered up and enunciated, maybe people would understand them. Razz

Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Mon Jul 24, 2017 1:23 am

Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Ref G7= Rob Roy MacGregor cut of the head of the Imperial Ambassador (Prince Eugine of Savoy) and nailed his head to a Pike. He also did the same to King William and Lord George Murray.

Or are you now claiming that this particular Mac is not a true Scot but a Irish Jacobite Bandit?

The Hapsburg & Dutch may not understand the Gallic but I think they understood the message when said nailed heads were thrown into their camps. For the Austrians at least it was a bit like being at home on their own dear Eastern Front!
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:44 pm

The Dutch Cruiser Brielle has slipped anchor at Capetown and set sail without orders...


I'm sure that's not going to be a problem... Very Happy

Rosales-Uber-Alles

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Re: Game 8

Post by Rosales-Uber-Alles on Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:48 am

Merchants beware!

Not another pirate/corsair/opportunist!? Where are the World Police when you need them...


Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:03 pm

Rosales-Uber-Alles wrote:Merchants beware!

Not another pirate/corsair/opportunist!? Where are the World Police when you need them...


I share your pain......only hope the privateering branch of the French Navy in G10 have better luck catching Venetian Pirates than the might of the Spanish Navy has had in its ten year hunt for Blackbeard following his sack of Havanna in G7 and Archbishop kidnapping.

At least in G10 we know where the pirates base is Very Happy

Sure I have been in this position before .......burn it down......some one rebuilds it........burn it down again........someone rebuilds. Venice/The Janissary Corp & English Economic Health.......The Agema version of Ground Elder and Japanese Knot Weed you just can not get rid of it!

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:08 pm


Unfortunately, the sea is a vast place in period.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:20 pm

Stuart Bailey wrote:
Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Ref G7=  Rob Roy MacGregor cut of the head of the Imperial Ambassador (Prince Eugine of Savoy) and nailed his head to a Pike.  He also did the same to King William and Lord George Murray.

Or are you now claiming that this particular Mac is not a true Scot but a Irish Jacobite Bandit?

The Hapsburg & Dutch may not understand the Gallic but I think they understood the message when said nailed heads were thrown into their camps.  For the Austrians at least it was a bit like being at home on their own dear Eastern Front!

Bah, fake news spread by that failing news outlet known as Glorie Du Roi, which as we all know delights in telling anti-Stuart (Dynasty) stories.

As anyone who knows the truth will tell you, Prince Euqine's death was the result of a freak accident when he accidentally cut his own head off whilst shaving...King William was another accident, he fell on one of the cattle grids on the Royal Mile (an experimental form of crowd control for the Edinburgh Festival), one of the bars was just too sharp and well...as to Lord Murray, well that was his own fault, we all told him Mr Todd was a terrible barber who has a reputation for nicking his clients necks, but did he listen?

As to Rob Roy MacGregor, everyone knows he isn't Scottish, simply an Englishman who likes wearing a kilt at weddings.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:59 pm


LOL! Nice one Jason.

Poor King William. Such a klutz. stabbed himself 36 times, fell down the stairs 3 times before finally accidentally decapitating himself.

Like that poor Moghul prince who just strangled himself to death. Horrible accident that. Shouldn't have been hanging around silken cords.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Wed Jul 26, 2017 11:15 pm

Deacon wrote:
LOL! Nice one Jason.

Poor King William. Such a klutz. stabbed himself 36 times, fell down the stairs 3 times before finally accidentally decapitating himself.

Like that poor Moghul prince who just strangled himself to death. Horrible accident that. Shouldn't have been hanging around silken cords.

You see, more fake news that I am glad Deacon has corrected! If you believed the corrupt media, you'd think the Moghul Prince in Persia might have been murdered when it is cleared that it was a tragic, tragic accident when he simply tightened his new tie a bit too much.

jamesbond007
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Re: Game 8

Post by jamesbond007 on Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:06 pm

The Moghul Prince was a traitor who tried to overthrow his father and steal the Moghul Crown. Some would say, he got what he deserved.

However, I am sure that Moghul power will bring the culprits to justice.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Thu Jul 27, 2017 3:46 pm

I think you're over-reacting. I mean his face is blue, that doesn't mean he's actually dead. Maybe he's just turning into a Moghul Blue and is pining for the Fjords? No, I guess he'd be pining for the monsoon, then wouldn't he?

I'm sure he's just resting face down in the hallway, that's all.

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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:38 pm

Brilliant Deacon Very Happy

Not sure how Richard's going to take to us writing the investigation like Monty Python sketch though!

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:31 pm


Well, you can tell Richard, that the alternative is that we start writing about the Kamikaze scotsmen instead! That's the Monty Python skit I thought about with the "blame the scots" thread.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:21 pm

October 1708, Humor free edition:

-Maharatans use fire ships at Lahari Banda contacting most of the moghul, but not sinking any. With SL, however, being one of the key drivers of how long and well you can blockade, it will be interesting to watch who breaks first.

-Questions arise in London about Josiah Woodall who apparently is an investment scheme scammer among other things.

-English smugglers are in Le Havre ready to be repatriated, but no english to collect them are in evidence.

-Prussia tells the HRE that they are very, very cross. If they get any crosser, they might be forced to use harsh words.

-Ingria desires to negotiate its independence as part of Russia. The French Cardinal offers  a history lesson on Ingria. The Tsarevich suggests lots of stabbing is the answer.

Various other festivities and actions, but nothing much else out of the ordinary.





-
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Thu Aug 24, 2017 11:59 pm

London Gazette 1707, the Short Form

Lahari Bandar tries to raise the blockade by sending out fire ships to attack the blockading naval fleet. Moghul fail to evade fire ships. Fire ships fail to burn blockade ships. Rest of world fails to notice.

French Diplomat dangles English smugglers in front of Lord fancypants. Suggests there is entirely NO linkage between their liberty and resolution of disputes in colonies. NO CONNECTION.

Sir Richard Blackmore explains sees a man from Sir Peter Black. Explains that killing patients in surgery is as English as cricket, but cheating a man out of ten pounds is just outrageous. You’re expected to kill a patient in your surgery before you cheat them of ten pounds!

King Louis moves from one palace to another. Entire landscape of France shifts as the ocean of courtiers endeavor to catch up.

400 of King Louis’ ex-mistresses have a new gig in the Paris opera as “dancers”.

1300 English smugglers in Le Havre make sad face.

Mayor of Bremen makes eyes at the Prince of Hanover.

Hamburg tries to pretend that it was never working a street corner and never was entirely intimate with that Prussian fellow.

Hispanic ambassador offers to show Hanover his military if they’ll show him theirs.

Hanover military practices square dancing.

Hanover physician insists Queen Anne is not dead. French fashion houses remain unconvinced.

Denmark announces ports of Tranquebar, Dannmarksnagore, and Charlote Amalie are free. Thousands of sailors try to find them on the maps to no avail. Decide it doesn’t matter when somebody explains it isn’t the Danish ladies that are free.

Bishop Svendsen applauds the Storkansler for sending a Lutheran mission to West Africa, or as they are known locally, “black robed dinner”.
Prince Frederick suggests that if he had a ball, he would most certainly NOT lend it to the HRE. In fact, if he had one, he would take it and return home forthwith!

Imperial Austrian princess sleeps through another jewelry presentation. When is she going to get her pet Hungarian?

The HRE has opened the Universitas Leopoldina. Earlier name suggestion of Leopold Leopold Leopold University of Leopold, the Leopold was ruled out as just a hair too vulgar.

Prince Alexander of Ingria demonstrates his mastery of Russian negotiation techniques by suggesting that the man he can stab to death at any moment should agree to his terms.

The French cardinal says a lot about Ingria history. This scribe slept through the lesson. Sorry.

The English blockades somebody. Alas, that somebody is not the Tsar’s captors.

The Patriarch of Moscow hosts a synod. Invites everyone. What could possibly go wrong with that?

The Tsarevich threatens Ingria. Maybe he wants an early coronation?

Emperor Pedro and court party in Lisbon. Then they party in Salamanca. Then they party in Avila. Then they party in Madrid. In case anybody wondered why there was such a large investment in Hispanic wines.

Benoit de Maillet likes mice. Nobody else does apparently.

To be continued...
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Fri Aug 25, 2017 3:29 pm


Slavers can't apparently tell the different between an Abyssinian Diplomat, and generic black africans.

The Mende Chiefs play their version of "key to the parade ground" with the explorer Jean Cabess

The Mic Mac in Acadia seem upset that the french prospectors keep digging things up.

Somebody is getting cold feed about smallpox inoculations for the Huron.

Gondar is fasting for Advent. Europeans boggle. They're called "feast days" for a reason!

The French ambassador in Kowloon is apparently overwhelmed with his menagerie.
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Rozwi_Game10
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Re: Game 8

Post by Rozwi_Game10 on Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:45 pm

Yes, I was quite taken by the unfortunate vermin's story.

Obviously I'm referring to the mice, not any of the dignitaries mentioned in the newspaper this month. Although...

#

I reckon Abyssinian officials are going to be escorted at all times by armed guards, from now on. Bit of a git when you've got to worry about the possibility of being enslaved, as well as all the other dangers of African travel. Never mind, if he ends up in a Zanzibar slave pen maybe the captains of those two French cruisers will set him to liberty. The French and Abyssinian's seem rather chummy; swapping stories over the khat bowl, as it were. [obviously I'm assuming the vessels are, indeed, French - and loyal?]
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:05 pm


I think that Richard is having a spot of fun at the poor Abyssinian player's expense. But the problems of playing an African nation in the period are quite real, and I admit as a player I'm often more than a bit appalled by the history we read and play out on the subject.

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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:32 pm

Ok, question. Is seizing an ambassador an act of war, not only against the nation the ambassador represents but also against the nation he was travelling to? I've got this nice new Persian fleet, I'm sure they would love to go on a rescue mission...

Oh and it seems Oman is active, think a new player has picked up the position.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:14 pm


I don't think it is definitively an act of war, but I don't think that many in polite society would argue the point with you.

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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:22 pm

Thanks Deacon Smile do feel I need to do something...otherwise someone might enslave my ambassadors!

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