Agema Publications

A forum for the disscussion of the Play by Mail games from Agema Publications


Game 8

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:45 pm

September 1707

Honour:
Emperor of Hispania still on top providing solid proof that Lord Fong’s assertion that western barbarians don’t understand honour may be right… The Electoral Prince of Hanover and The King of France are both close behind.

Versailles:
Many snails were eaten in celebration of various royal birthdays. Khatt remained the talk of the court, with suggestions that drugging peasants instead of feeding them might improve the economy.

France finally admits it too is baffled by what is going on in Ingria, and decides that sending a French Cardinal as an ambassador should help.  Many others think that this is a couple of months early to send a fat, old white guy in red, particularly if there aren’t any presents involved.

French artists arted a lot.

France seems to think English prisoners need exercise, since it is now marching them back to the coast.

London:
Some librarian from the master general’s office of ordinance has purportedly been kidnapped.  Or killed. Or made to eat English cooking which is about the same.

Hull:
A Royal Society ball is being organized. Funds are being raised which will go to the Royal Society. Really. Truly. We completely promise.

Hamburg:
The city council, having failed to pay for a spine upgrade, immediately reverse their decision to join Prussia. They beg Prussia not to be mad that they took the bribes but didn’t do the deed. “It’s not our fault we are invertebrates. We won’t develop spines for another couple of hundred years.”

Hanover:
Stop the presses! Queen Anne is here, and apparently is on time!

Prussia:
Demonstrating that they have enough spine for everybody, they insult “Viennese dolts” for objecting to Hamburg selling themselves out.

Vienna:
Hispanic Ambassador oozed his way into court to offer more jewelry to the princess.

Melk:
Emperor Leopold did something with an abbey in Melk. Nobody even knows where in the blazes Melk is.

Moscow:
Muscovites are now praying for the Tsar’s safe return. World wonders when “paying the Tsar’s ransom” will occur to them.

Lisbon:
The court drank outside. The court drank inside. Eventually the men got bored and went drinking while watching the ritual slaughter of livestock at “bull fights”.

Viseu:
A cathedral and a market square were refurbished here. Populace begs for one-way road out of small backwards town in Portugal.

Gondor:
When it is reported that the monks have gone missing en route, the emperor offers prayers, then quietly whispers, “plenty more where they came from.”

West coast of Africa:
French ambassador wanders around visiting African kingdoms lying to them. Tells oldest joke in colonial book, “We promise to leave you alone.”

Muscat:
Omani close their army camp which is probably good, since Muscat isn’t theirs!

Isfahan:
Shah throws party, confusing European ambassadors. If nobody gets drunk and vomits in the shrubberies, how can it be a party?

Delhi:
+1 baby girl, -1 princess

Laswari:
Russians give 3 mud dab huts to the Moghul. Both agree to tell everyone it was actually 4 huts.

Lahari Bandar:
Maharatan field army of 14 matchlock battalions, 22 lancer squadrons, ten artillery, and 3 elephants arrive.  Both fishing boats still refuse to engage Moghul blockade. Explain that the heavy rain interrupts their hashish smoking and is no weather to fight in.

Quebec:
French offering natives small pox vaccinations. It is almost like they’re trying to prevent the judgment of God from killing off all the brown people.

Moghul:
Promise to investigate death of prince. Top men are on it. Top men.


Last edited by Deacon on Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rozwi_Game10
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Re: Game 8

Post by Rozwi_Game10 on Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:53 am

lol!

Steps have been taken so some Yorkshire bloke doesn't get the blame if the raised funds go missing at Hull. All monies were collected and recorded in the presence of the vicar, and the ledger book went home with him too. I also wanted copies handed in to the local magistrate! A request for armed government types to come and collect the money from Hull and take it back to London for safe delivery has also been made.

And if anyone reading this sends a spy to muck up my 'back covering' attempts, I'll be really, really cross Evil or Very Mad  [though I could just blame that Scotch bloke, who insulted me, as the obvious culprit Twisted Evil ]

Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:26 am


I say bring G8 in line with G7 & G10.............blame the Scots for everything.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:29 pm

I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm

Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Well, if they sobered up and enunciated, maybe people would understand them. Razz

Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Mon Jul 24, 2017 1:23 am

Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Ref G7= Rob Roy MacGregor cut of the head of the Imperial Ambassador (Prince Eugine of Savoy) and nailed his head to a Pike. He also did the same to King William and Lord George Murray.

Or are you now claiming that this particular Mac is not a true Scot but a Irish Jacobite Bandit?

The Hapsburg & Dutch may not understand the Gallic but I think they understood the message when said nailed heads were thrown into their camps. For the Austrians at least it was a bit like being at home on their own dear Eastern Front!
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:44 pm

The Dutch Cruiser Brielle has slipped anchor at Capetown and set sail without orders...


I'm sure that's not going to be a problem... Very Happy

Rosales-Uber-Alles
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Re: Game 8

Post by Rosales-Uber-Alles on Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:48 am

Merchants beware!

Not another pirate/corsair/opportunist!? Where are the World Police when you need them...


Stuart Bailey
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Re: Game 8

Post by Stuart Bailey on Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:03 pm

Rosales-Uber-Alles wrote:Merchants beware!

Not another pirate/corsair/opportunist!? Where are the World Police when you need them...


I share your pain......only hope the privateering branch of the French Navy in G10 have better luck catching Venetian Pirates than the might of the Spanish Navy has had in its ten year hunt for Blackbeard following his sack of Havanna in G7 and Archbishop kidnapping.

At least in G10 we know where the pirates base is Very Happy

Sure I have been in this position before .......burn it down......some one rebuilds it........burn it down again........someone rebuilds. Venice/The Janissary Corp & English Economic Health.......The Agema version of Ground Elder and Japanese Knot Weed you just can not get rid of it!

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:08 pm


Unfortunately, the sea is a vast place in period.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:20 pm

Stuart Bailey wrote:
Jason wrote:I don't know...the Scots are so misunderstood...and without nailing a single ambassador to anything...

Ref G7=  Rob Roy MacGregor cut of the head of the Imperial Ambassador (Prince Eugine of Savoy) and nailed his head to a Pike.  He also did the same to King William and Lord George Murray.

Or are you now claiming that this particular Mac is not a true Scot but a Irish Jacobite Bandit?

The Hapsburg & Dutch may not understand the Gallic but I think they understood the message when said nailed heads were thrown into their camps.  For the Austrians at least it was a bit like being at home on their own dear Eastern Front!

Bah, fake news spread by that failing news outlet known as Glorie Du Roi, which as we all know delights in telling anti-Stuart (Dynasty) stories.

As anyone who knows the truth will tell you, Prince Euqine's death was the result of a freak accident when he accidentally cut his own head off whilst shaving...King William was another accident, he fell on one of the cattle grids on the Royal Mile (an experimental form of crowd control for the Edinburgh Festival), one of the bars was just too sharp and well...as to Lord Murray, well that was his own fault, we all told him Mr Todd was a terrible barber who has a reputation for nicking his clients necks, but did he listen?

As to Rob Roy MacGregor, everyone knows he isn't Scottish, simply an Englishman who likes wearing a kilt at weddings.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:59 pm


LOL! Nice one Jason.

Poor King William. Such a klutz. stabbed himself 36 times, fell down the stairs 3 times before finally accidentally decapitating himself.

Like that poor Moghul prince who just strangled himself to death. Horrible accident that. Shouldn't have been hanging around silken cords.
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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Wed Jul 26, 2017 11:15 pm

Deacon wrote:
LOL! Nice one Jason.

Poor King William. Such a klutz. stabbed himself 36 times, fell down the stairs 3 times before finally accidentally decapitating himself.

Like that poor Moghul prince who just strangled himself to death. Horrible accident that. Shouldn't have been hanging around silken cords.

You see, more fake news that I am glad Deacon has corrected! If you believed the corrupt media, you'd think the Moghul Prince in Persia might have been murdered when it is cleared that it was a tragic, tragic accident when he simply tightened his new tie a bit too much.

jamesbond007
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Re: Game 8

Post by jamesbond007 on Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:06 pm

The Moghul Prince was a traitor who tried to overthrow his father and steal the Moghul Crown. Some would say, he got what he deserved.

However, I am sure that Moghul power will bring the culprits to justice.
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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Thu Jul 27, 2017 3:46 pm

I think you're over-reacting. I mean his face is blue, that doesn't mean he's actually dead. Maybe he's just turning into a Moghul Blue and is pining for the Fjords? No, I guess he'd be pining for the monsoon, then wouldn't he?

I'm sure he's just resting face down in the hallway, that's all.

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Jason
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Re: Game 8

Post by Jason on Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:38 pm

Brilliant Deacon Very Happy

Not sure how Richard's going to take to us writing the investigation like Monty Python sketch though!

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Deacon
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Re: Game 8

Post by Deacon on Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:31 pm


Well, you can tell Richard, that the alternative is that we start writing about the Kamikaze scotsmen instead! That's the Monty Python skit I thought about with the "blame the scots" thread.

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