by Marshal Bombast Sat Feb 29, 2020 4:23 pm
So, the first newspaper of 1704 has appeared and the following are for people playing or not.
Sweden and Austria have been capturing cities and ravaging areas of France. The Austrians have paid compensation for food taken by their forces and by their allies. Austria heroically liberated Reggio from non-existent French forces only to find the bewildered Genoan Garrison looking out from the citadel at all the fuss. Meanwhile fed up with waiting for rescue the citizens of Sassari threw off their non-existent yoke of oppression and are now going their own way.
Over in England the navy is preparing for its latest task with over 300 ships being made ready. Let’s hope the bad luck of admirals is now over, otherwise there’ll be a huge log jam in the channel.
On Scottish gift day all Scottish ambassadors to other nations held a banquet and gifted from the Most Honourable Lord Melville to each respective nation’s ruler a jewel encrusted claymore. Luckily no one was hurt as they all seemed to know which end to point forward.
The long running soap FRATRES ET SORORES APOLLO appears to have crossed over into real life for some confused souls who thought the Association has invaded Amsterdam. We can’t wait for the next thrilling instalment.
Flanders ruler, Philippe d’Orleans rejoiced at the finding of the last will and testament of the deceased King Carlos II of Spain and supporting the right of self-determination for Spain. Peru also saw the finding of the will to be divine intervention from a ruined economy should slaves be freed by the King as appointed by His Holiness. King Carlos III was still not available for comment on what he would or wouldn’t do.
Cardinal Theodose de la Tour D’Auvergne de Bouillon confirmed that no French Cardinal would attend a party held by ladies of the night as they would rather go to Versailles with the King. Meanwhile in Calais the Jacobite flag has been taken down. This may have given James Francis Edward a hint of what was to come given the French were subsequently unable to find and arrest him.
In Brunswick, Duke George was hedging his bets that the war was over by offering to sell next year’s recruits at wartime prices and even hinted at it turning into a bidding war between interested parties.
King Frederick IV of Denmark hosted a celebration of all that is Danish, promoting all of their accomplishments. After the toast ‘Gud bevare Danmark’ the Dutch ambassador immediately offered His Majesty a defence and military co-operation treaty. Reports do not clarify whether this was because the Ambassador was a) impressed, b) scared or c) drunk.
Prayers were said in Stockholm, Norway was found to be lacking in ambition, Austria are holding secret talks with Bavaria, Bavaria are not being secret about Austrian treaty obligations, while the French could not get into Swiss secret talks. Not to be outdone by other societal events The Holy Roman Empress held two balls and climaxed with fireworks.
The Saxon court is turning very cosmopolitan and allows everyone to stroll in the park and gardens of the Grosse Garden, the centre of which is a pleasure house, unless it is being used by the Court.
At this point in the paper Tsar Peter wondered whether he should have attended more court events on his Grand Tour! A little later he also wondered what the Abyssinians would be apprenticed to if Portugal took up their offer.
It is not a good time for notable people in the Polish Commonwealth as two people went missing. One recruited away by a foreign power and the other kidnapped in the name of Ancient Lithuania. Which King if any will react to their minster being taken, or is this the beginnings of a power play by one faction? (This is beginning to read like real life has crossed over into fiction, perhaps as a challenge to the popular Association serial (ed).)
The Tsar took over two pages of the paper to say that Fasting had ended in Russia, that nobles must pay for their failures and that his son is his heir. When questioned the article’s reporter said there was Knout wrong and the Tsar could Baggot on about his successes, especially if it meant the reporter didn’t get Fired.
Cardinal Portocarrero, the Regent of Spain went on pilgrimage which ended with the building a Cathedral. Spanish moneylenders were left wondering where their money was, though they decided not to make too much of a point of it in case they were arrested on suspicion of being recruiting parties, which are now banned.
A public statement from the government in Turin turned out to be fairly cryptic and we think it translates to ‘We are right and you are wrong, but we won’t elaborate!’ We think we need another translator for our European Politics section. If this keeps up there won’t be enough translators in the country.
Genoa celebrated the peace, especially in Naples where a ‘Grand Masquerade of Our Time’ was held where wine was drunk, men dressed as predators, women dressed as prey all while served by scantily clad servants. The Papal States are interested in arming with the latest weapons technology to promote peace and Venice is meeting foreign Ministers of War. While accommodating on many points His Holiness thinks the Orthodox Church should accept him as their Head if the Schism is to end.
Only the most cynical would link two of the points in the above paragraph together. It could be that His Holiness only wanted the best weapons for his Spanish recruits in case there were noble revolts to protect the way of life for Spanish slaves or to protect the Neapolitan’s from the Constant F.
In Sicily the local clergy overturned the coronation of Philippe de Bourbon, saying they would only accept the rule of someone instated by His Holiness.
In Accra, Obirempon Ayi Kwei Armah, the Ga Mantse of the Ga-Adangbe tribe, was learning more lessons in international trade and economics from Dutch Merchants. Apparently threats like those made to bring the alliance sealed in Abankeseso this month do not work where money is viewed as a god.
The Ovambo may have understood the above lesson better, as they took a village and its environs off the Rozwi. In the meantime, Changamire Dombo was distracted by reports of a man who had too many spirits being the culprit in recent murders.
Taking a leaf out of the European book of war the Japanese confirmed that the force they landed on the Philippines last month was indeed an invasion force. Though this could be in part down to learning from their neighbours with Sun Tzu’s teaching of win the war before your opponent realises it has started.
China showed there are further similarities across cultures by the giving of prayers and the giving of gifts to their rulers.
Finally, Emperor Leopold announced that France had requested reasonable terms be discussed to end the war. This indeed could be an interesting year for us all.
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