Back for good... this time!

Hi All,

I have just rejoined Rome is Burning as King of Scythia.

I have played many GOK games before, such as Hungary, England, Russia, Prussia, Ottoman Anatolia and Persia.

Formally known as m_turner29.

Looking forward to joining in with my old mockers here at Agema!

Regnum Scythi wrote:Hi All,

I have just rejoined Rome is Burning as King of Scythia.

I have played many GOK games before, such as Hungary, England, Russia, Prussia, Ottoman Anatolia and Persia.

Formally known as m_turner29.

Looking forward to joining in with my old mockers here at Agema!

Hi Mark,

Not another hairy horseman type........as if Huns, Parthians and Alans were not enough.

Do we actually need all of these players just to provide the mighty Roman Army in the East with a few Equites sagittarii indigenae recruits?

Probably should be noted that for at least 2000 years anyone who lived on a horse and slept in a yurt was to Roman Writers a Scythian. So basically if you are claiming to be the King of the Scythians from here on in anything which happens is your fault.

Well hello to you too Stuart,

But you can never have enough armour clad, bow toting, axe weilding, spear poking horse riders. Not sure how the game is going or set up, but the Scythians as a kingdom were smaller and more focused around the Crimea. But I shall wait for my first actual turn.

Regnum Scythi wrote:Well hello to you too Stuart,

But you can never have enough armour clad, bow toting, axe weilding, spear poking horse riders. Not sure how the game is going or set up, but the Scythians as a kingdom were smaller and more focused around the Crimea. But I shall wait for my first actual turn.

Not 100% sure that the Gov of Syria and other Roman Commanders in the East dealing with a super abundance of Parthian raiders would agree with your statement. So far the Parthians have launched a successfull raid into Roman Asia Minor now the big in game questions are:-

1) Will this bunch of armour clad, bow toting, axe weilding, spear poking horse riders complete the difficult part and get themselves and their loot home with Senator Gallas manning the passes out of Anatolia and guarding the river crossing back into Parthian territory. Seems that better known Byzantine tactical manuals were actually based on a lesser known 1st century work.

2) If this particular bunch of armour clad, bow toting, axe weilding, spear poking horse riders do end up under a pile of rocks or stuck on hidden stakes in a ford will Senator Gallas troops get all over keen and declare him Emperor like the last Roman General who smashed up the armour clad, bow toting, axe weilding, spear poking horse riders of the Iazyges tribe.

And no I do not have a clue as to why the Danube Legions responded to a Dacian raid by attacking the winter camps of the western most branch of the Sarmation foes of your Scythians. Probably just assumed that Nero and Roman voters could not spot the difference between one bunch of Barbarians and another.

However, do not fear that you are joining a campaign after your historic foes have all been smashed. Your Scythians are currently on the European Steppe to the North West of the Crimea (which is dominated by Greek colonies under the authority of a Roman Governor) given time and a lot of slaves digging through records the Senate and People of Rome may even remember who the hell they sent too the third worst post in the Roman Empire after Judea and Britannia.

Geographically speaking your western foes have gone but loads more Siracae, Rhoxolani, Alans and other Sarmatians exist just too your east and behind them are the endless hordelands of the Hsiung-Nu confederation - Hephthalites, Chionites and all the different colours of Huns "A roaming multitude from Skythian clime, teeming with savagery, frightful, ravening, violent, barbarous even in the eyes of the barbarian peoples around them"

welcome back

Well I must say that the last turn in RIB was a bit of a damp squib.

Iberian Chicken fancier lay down with this pillows plumped up by the pillow plumper and grapes peeled by the maid expecting to read about:-

1) Cliamatic battle in the East as the Parthians tried to fight their way home and out of the trap lovingly prepared by the Gov of Syria over the last year or so. Perhaps with Parthians using their last arrows to make a small gap and the slow Partharian Knights launching a last doomed charge into the legions gathering for the kill to win enough time for the rest of the Army to get away.

Then followed by the Eastern Legions lifting the Governor of Syria on a shield over a battlefield covered in dead where the Parthian Knights were finally hacked down.

2) A desperate last stand in Rome as the "Sword of Rome" and other Hero's tried to hold back the rebel Janissary Corp (in skirts) and win time for the Empress to flee the swords of the Guard and avoid having her daughters brains dashed out as a offering to the chaos Gods on Mount Agema. While Rome burns and the rebel Guard bullies the Senate into agreeing to rubber stamp their man as Emperor in order to stop the burning.

My character was all set to put aside his perfectly peeled grapes, plumped pillows and chanel his inner Cato in order to live in a cave in the hills and defy the the scum bag traitors of the Guard to do their worst. (He can spot a proto Agema Janissary and knows they only solution!)

3) To complete the acker was half expecting the Emperor Nero to be no more............cut down with cold steel or a dodgy mushroom in order to cover up fact that Danube Legions were 60,000 slaves light on the loot promised to the Emperor and the Imperial Treasury and probably do not want to surrender their loot anyway.

And what did I get to read about instead of all of this high drama???? Well basically zilch, nothing, please move along nothing to be seen here!

a) The Emperor Nero still in perfect health........though the Danube Legions now even lighter on the promised slaves after even more did a runner.

b) Not so much as a single arrow fired in east as the Parthians suddenly developed the teleportation and cloacking ability shared by Klingon Space Ships and Agema NPC with serious plot armour and moved tens of thousands of men and horses across some really tough desert and mountains which struggle to provide enough fodder for a small goat herd.

How come my Engineers pick up sick levels just walking down a recently re-surfaced Roman road alongside the banks of the river Bactis while the Parthians raid, fight a battle then complete a high speed forced march across country to avoid a trap and do not leave the mountains and deserts covered in dead horses and abandoned armour and wounded men?

c) As for Rome the Guard come to a hault in order to consider a insultingly small bribe from the ex Gov of Egypt to come and help him sort out a bunch of rebel Jews. Since the Guard are on double the pay of a standard member of a Legion this means that they are on over 500 denerii a year plus expect thousands on denerii in bonus payments from new Emperors, Imperial wills etc, etc but they are seemingly happy to consider an offer of ten denerii a man to abandon the loot and good life in Rome for Judea of all places?????

Not sure if Nero is happy about this offer or not as he has now socially promoted the Gov of Egypt which is an Equstrian post to Cilicia which is a post for a socially superior member of the Senate and thrown in a additional province as well. While Otha has been sent ordered East to take over Egypt?

Does this mean that Otha has been socially demoted? And the Gov of Egypt socially promoted and made a member of the Senate?

Probably should be noted that last governor of Cilicia was the commander of the now rebel guard and is probably still loyal to him while the additional province is Judea where the last two of the last three important Roman officals to set foot have been murdered so the ex Governor of Egypt may have rather mixed feeling about his promotion and social advancement.

Egypt while only a Equestrian Post is actually a lot richer than Lusitania and the personal property of the Julio-Claudian family. By sending on of his oldest cronies and former husband of the Empress to look after it is Nero taking out Life Assurance? (rest of us struggle to get even some basic banking in RIB).

While Otha is heading east, Glaba is marching on Italy from Hispania-Tarraconensis to try and save Rome from the rebels in an effort to shame the half his age young pups on the Rhine and Danube into taking action to save the enteral city.

This rather leaves Iberia without a Legion and poor old Trajan abandoned !! Guess after the Iberian Games the Gods on Mount Agema were thinking its all getting a bit too comfortable and provincial in Iberia.

Wonder if Cordus takes Rome he will order someone to Iberia with orders to put down Trajan? Anyone fancy the job of trying to pacify Iberia in the name of Cordus? After all the very, very best Roman Commanders managed it.

Hi Mark


Great to see you back and ignore Stuart, it's only us non-Romans who are keeping the game sane through our incredibly civilised behaviour, so unlike the warlike barbaric Romans and their two wine cups short of a full amphora emperor

From the cuddly, peace-loving and not in the slightest bit threatening Caledonians

Jason2 wrote:Hi Mark


Great to see you back  and ignore Stuart, it's only us non-Romans who are keeping the game sane through our incredibly civilised behaviour, so unlike the warlike barbaric Romans and their  two wine cups short of a full amphora emperor

From the cuddly, peace-loving and not in the slightest bit threatening Caledonians

Warlike? Barbaric ?? Me ???

I would like to point out that by cuddly, olive oil grower and kind to his sacred chickens chap in RIB has campaigned for:-

a) Votes for nice civilized Iberians

b) Improved fire safty and building regulations in Rome while acting as a patron for hard working Roman builders.

c) Land reform in southern Italy

d) Retirement homes for Roman veterans

e) Paid for restoration of the Temple of Mars and campaigned to protect Rome from the anger of the Gods by banning Christains and other wacky eastern cults which are probably just fronts for Parthian Agents out to cause trouble and undermine good public order.

While in the province entrusted to his care by the Senate and People of Rome he has built/restored lots of roads and other public buildings while trying to improve the farming and economy of the province. While throwing some cracking games!

And in all this time he has not killed or been responsible for the death of anyone apart from a few Gladiators, which I would put down as a occupational hazard. Being a Gladiator in Iberia might not be the most hazard free occupation but compared to say being a Barbarian Tribal Chief you are probably more popular with the public and less likely to get stabbed esp in the back. Though no doubt John will come up with some natty stats to show being a Gladiator is also a safer occupation than being a senior Roman Magistrate as well.

Anyone keeping scores for a) Gladiators b) Tribal chiefs and c) Senior Roman Magistrates?.........though I do get feeling that being a Sailor is not a very healthy occipation in RIB. Ok who thought it was a good idea to put Jason 1 in charge of a Roman fleet? Though for some reason he does seem very fond on building bridges.