The curse of Fu-Manchu and why Opium is bad for you

October 1860 Britannic Times has shown up and while no one of note seems to have passed away this month in other respects - Crashing Airships, Nuns, Kidnapping, Sinking Ships, legal writs and other general dirty tricks this months issue seems about par.

For non players in SFE here are the highlights or low lights to be more exact:

- First flight of the Cavorite High Altitude Airship................also probably the last for this particular model following a crash landing.

- Our hero Bismarck has been kidnapped by the Moors, question now is do the Germans care enough about Birmarck or the Moors care enough about their captive Sultan to arrange an exchange? FM Model probably wants the Moors to keep their captive but it seem the Kaiser wants to send Bizzy to Chin. Why????????????????????!

- On the North African battlefield the struggle goes on slowly. With the blockade of Casablanca by land and sea still in place but why is a French Army now in the Moorish province of Karakoun? Are they or indeed the Moors other Ottoman allies going to try and break the blockade?

- President Johnson of the USA or America is getting concerned about British and Russian Imperial Expansion in the West. Perhaps this is to do with Russian Railways and Ports, Dayton being on the point of surrender to the British Empire and that Southern Belle Miss Catherine McGehee of New Orleans becoming Baroness Weatherbee.

- In Tokyo, Taigen Sessai has decided the way to improve the Troops morale is yoga. Interesting contrast in approach to the generals of the HEIC who seem to believe in parades, fancy uniforms, tiffen and the general slaughter of people the John Company Army does not like as the way to keep Troops happy.

- Also in Tokyo the Prime Minister of Nippon has started talks with Peter Fay of the Albion (Opium) Corporation. It is to be hoped that the Prime Minister of Nippon has a very long spoon if he intends to dine with the Albion Corporation, most feared of all the British Hongs.

- As usual half of the Britannic Times was taken up by the rows between the Government and British Merchants. In general the Albion Corporation think the Govt of Lord Derby is both tyrannic and too soft on the HEIC while the Govt thinks the Albion Corporation goes in for tax evasion and high treason.

- A HMCR investigation into the tax affairs of the main merchant houses has shown that the HEIC is now paying £22M per month in contrast to the legal parts of the Albion Corporation (Times newspaper, Punch etc) which only pay £900,000. But it also showed that the Tea Corporation owed £96,768,994 in back tax which may rather overshadow the low tax returns from the Albion Corporation.

- Nothing much to report from China. More Russian troops and ships seem to be heading East while Fu-Manchu sent the HEIC the cure for Flashmans condition. Pity they buried Flashy two months ago! And the HEIC is likely to view this as an attempt to rub salt into its wounds.

The tax issue is one of tremendous interest... I think there will be some changes in the newspaper as I have no doubt that John Company and the Tea Cartel have constantly paid their share. I find it interesting that a company that carries on as much business as the Albion Corporation only has a tax bill of less than 1 million pounds per month. Perhaps they just aren't any good at investments, but I doubt it.

Find a bit of jealousy creeping in here, you talk of millions in tax returns, must be some kind of printing error on my tax income sheets looks like at least three zeros are missing from my listings.......

Oh, to have those kind of problems with the tax man, at the moment we are looking to get enough together to pay the babysitter.

Its a bit the same with Germania, Bizzie never was going to be a good accountant, too much absinthe in the past

revvaughan wrote:The tax issue is one of tremendous interest...  I think there will be some changes in the newspaper as I have no doubt that John Company and the Tea Cartel have constantly paid their share.  I find it interesting that a company that carries on as much business as the Albion Corporation only has a tax bill of less than 1 million pounds per month.  Perhaps they just aren't any good at investments, but I doubt it.  

Does this mean the her Britannic Majesties Govt is happy to take a cut of the Albion Corporation income from Illegal Opium smuggling, gun running, protection rackets, slave trading, brothel keeping, private banking etc, etc, etc as well as their legal business like running the Times and Punch Magazine?

I'm losing track, what actually killed Flashman?

HM Government just wants to legitimate taxes that are owed. Sounds like there might be a judge being defrocked and some warrants being served in due course.

Ref the comments posted above:

1) The HEIC pays all of its tax bills (unlike some other trade companies I could mention).

2) What matters to Govts & NGO's in Scrabble are characters and units both of which are capped. Cash is basically a way for trade companies to keep score but even here its not a simple matter of pay loads of dividends and your prestige goes up......experience of the HEIC is rather pay out loads of dividends, get slagged off by shareholders/papers and prestige drops.

3) If you are playing a Govt positions in Scabble having a order of nuns/church attached to your position would seem to be a total liability. You just know they are going to end up in trouble and you will be expected to save them! Trade companies seem to be a bit of a two edged sword. Taking the Brittanic Govt for instance Lord Derby has got loads of corporation tax, railways etc built in the Empire & even some private enterprise weapons. But he has had to face:

- Being hammered on a regular basis by the Times, Punch & the full might of the Opium Cartel Propaganda machine & he is not allowed to shot the blighters as they are fellow Brits and members of the House of Lords.

- Having to deal with industrial scale tax avoidence/evasion.

- Having to face a whole pass of "diplomatic incidents" either caused by or involving British Trade companies.

The Govt of Nippon might like to ask itself is it worth it for £900,000?

4) As for Flashman.......he was shot and badly wounded by bandits while on a ship diplomatic mission. He was brought back to Bombay and would probably have got over his wound if a bunch of ten Chin Triads acting for Dr Fu-Manchu had not kidnapped the poor chap and poured a toxic potion down throats so the could ship him back to Chin as a pretend Corpse.

Sadly for Flashman the mix of a 2nd "wound" and delay in getting him the cure for the potion proved deadly.

Of the ten strong kidnap team seven was shot and killed......the other three were captured..........and have been singing to the ISB. Which probably means that for health reasons a lot of Characters are going to be spending a lot of time going via the Nippon route rather via India and will probably want to use Nippon flagged (Red Seal) ships for their persons and goods.

Will anyone believe it was a Typhoon or a Sea Monster if one of these ships suddenly vanishes? Really nasty these Typhoons in the Sea of Japan

Ok. it has been some years since I read any Fu-Manchu stories, or saw any of the films...but I do recall he had one (or more) potion(s) that mimiced death even though the subject wasn't-think suspended animation. I am sure that his victims were given the potion and revived successfully even six months later...and some weren't in great health...

...so, this might sound crazy, but are you 100% sure Flashman was really dead and not just in suspended animation? Even given his other injuries? Have you considered a quick exhumation and trying out the potion the messenger delivered to you?

Jason wrote:Ok. it has been some years since I read any Fu-Manchu stories, or saw any of the films...but I do recall he had one (or more) potion(s) that mimiced death even though the subject wasn't-think suspended animation.  I am sure that his victims were given the potion and revived successfully even six months later...and some weren't in great health...

...so, this might sound crazy, but are you 100% sure Flashman was really dead and not just in suspended animation?  Even given his other injuries?  Have you considered a quick exhumation and trying out the potion the messenger delivered to you?

According to Agema and the best medical help in Indea Flashman is dec'd and was even starting to smell bad.

Think unless a character is hung or something like that Agema works on a pirate/wild west skirmish game theory that x2 wounds = Dead.

What you propose would probably work if some gits had not shot Flashman full of holes first.

Currently down to 10 characters from 12 with two replacements being raised, but I take view that what matters in Scabble is not a character ending.......but ending in style!

Oh well, so it's now a post-Flashman world...time for Richard Hannay to take centre stage surely?

so, there is danger/ hope that a slightly smelly, green , glassy eyed Flashman may return, it all depends on the contents of a small glass bottle from a dodgey Chin type, heh ho, I guess I should have put my underpants on my head & stuck pencils up my nose before starting to play Scrable!

As to the tax reforms / avoidance of Britannia, I can only say that if you are looking for off shore banking then Nippon is the place to go.

There is also the chance to take night classess in Combat Yoga , Offensive flower displays; military sewing for beginners & kamakazi knitting patterens are also under development.

I think simply abandoning all sense of reason and logic helps if you are in Scramble...

Sound advice , I'll do my best to" wibble" at regular intervals.

Just hope the wife & kids don't mind!

Jason wrote:Oh well, so it's now a post-Flashman world...time for Richard Hannay to take centre stage surely?

I wanted Speedicut who in one of the last Flashman books was last seen in Trieste working for the foreign office and getting our Hero sent to the wilds of Abbysinia with load of silver for Napiers invasion of that country.

What I got issued with is William Duke of Hamilton who I suspect may be a Scot!

What the hell is the chance of a Scottish diplomat in scrabble lasting over 12 months........why not just issue me with a red shirt & beam me down scotty.

Just remember Scots at this time built the Empire...Scotland was crap at colonies but Scots were experts at making a success of English colonies

Could be worse, he could be Welsh!

At least a Welshman would try and teach people to play Rugby rather than the tedium that is cricket...no wonder the Indian Army mutinied...I would too if I had to play cricket all the time...

Jason wrote:At least a Welshman would try and teach people to play Rugby rather than the tedium that is cricket...no wonder the Indian Army mutinied...I would too if I had to play cricket all the time...

Reading about the HEIC & the Raj and a very large number of their leading figures seem to have been Scots, plus a fair number of Welsh and Irish. With the Scots being stronger in trade (esp the Opium trade, engineering and the law while the Irish seem to have been more drawn to the Army.

If Jason is interested the Church at North Stoke near Bath has memorials to the Lawrence family who were basically Irish Bog Gentry who all seem to have married daughters of clergy from the West Country and then had sons who either became West Country Clergy or joined the Indian Army and had these long and very varied combat records fighting all over the East.

It should also be noted that the British & the British Indian Army did try to introduce Rugby (were do people think the Calcutta Cup comes from) & Football to the Sub Continent and were also fond of Polo and hunting which was already popular. But they just never matched the great and holy sport of Cricket.

In Scabble the world is currently being divided up into people who play cricket and those who do not. Think cricket may be a hard sale in France, Chin and Nippon but what Britannia would like to do is win America for the great game since historically it was a very close run thing between Cricket and Rounders (Baseball) becoming the Summer game in the America's.

Unfortunately Scramble has followed the path of the perversion that is cricket and not chosen to introduce the delight that is rugby to the world.

Flashman's death is clearly God's punishment for this oversight.

The Nippon National Rugby team will soon be ready, unfortuntely alos takes 10 months to raise.

Nippon is also looking into developing Camera technology, any Scramble nations that have made this can they please contact Nippon,

We already have suitcases with litte wheels & handles to allow for speedier deployment in the field, an Hawiaian style camoflage pattern has also been created, Straw hats to keep the son out of our soldiers eyes have also been issued, so once cameras have been issued the Nipponese tourist invasion of far flung lands can begin.

Jason wrote:Unfortunately Scramble has followed the path of the perversion that is cricket and not chosen to introduce the delight that is rugby to the world.

Flashman's death is clearly God's punishment for this oversight.

Have been a loyal follower of Bath Rugby Club for most of my life and if you inform me that the Cherry & Whites (Gloucester RFC......spit, spit, spit) were founded on the proceeds of opium, slavery and gun running I will be happy to believe you.

But some how C19 Rugby players just do not stick in the mind like a Fry, "The Demon" F R Spofforth or the greatest West Country Hero of them all after Alfred the Great..............The immortal "Doctor" (W G Grace). Still expect the "Doctor" to show up in Scabble at some stage.

Nov 1860 issue of the Britannic Times has shown up and for non scabble players here are the highlights:

- The great tax mystery continues to rage in old London Town. With the Tea Cartel's claim that it pays all its tax being backed up Sir Quentin Lee's investigation while HM Revenue & Customs still say the outstanding tax bills have not been paid! So it would seem that either the Tea Cartel are naughty tax evaders or someone has diverted millions of £££££ of Britannic Govt revenue

- No doubt Sir Quentin will carry out an intensive investigation and find evidence which points in the direction of the Opium Cartel but not enough to convict Lord Farnworth. On the other hand getting a conviction may be a bit easier now Judge Jefferies has been sacked (to the outrage of Mr Gladstone) for blocking the investigation of a suspected Opium Cartel blackmail plot against members of the House of Lords.

- Meanwhile in a frantic effort to show its civic responsibilty the HEIC put out its end of year report showing its paying over £22,000,000 per month tax to HM Revenue. The HEIC also paid a final end of year dividend of £90,000,000 and paid a bonus to its troops and workers. Plus donated money to Charity inc £500,000 to the Tory Party. Oddly even with all of these efforts the Opium Corporation & Globel are on the Prestige list but the HEIC is not:(

- Under Naval and Land blockade the Moorish stronghold of Casablanca is starting to run short of food but the Germans are also starting to run out of ships to keep the blockade in position. More good news for the Germans was the rescue of Bismarck and Josiah Woodall by German Cavalry. But while the Moors lost two captives they gained two more in General Ibrahim and Lozenzo the no longer insane.

- Question now that half the German Navy has sunk will either the French or Ottoman allies of the Moors "damn the torpedoes" and attempt to run the blockade?

- In the America's a lot of hints, happy families and strange building design. But the only real hard facts are the City of Dayton has given up and Canada now has a direct land link to the CSA and the Yankee drive west is in deep trouble. Meanwhile in the South West (America not Sonerset) the Russians continue to win friends and influence.

- Meanwhile in a final blow to the Monroe Doctrine the Japs have landed in San Diego and set up a house of silk. They have also done the same in Vladivostock in what seems to be a world wide effort to spread Nippon trade. But do the Cossacks and Apache even wear underwear? let alone Silk hand crafted with falling cherry blosum?

- Actually Nippon exports seem more likely to find a market in more refined areas like Europe and India were Queen Yehonala spent the month painting water colours, taking tea and watching Polo while elsewhere Rutog was brought into her Kingdom of Transoxia. Meaning that slowly but surely Cricket is making its way towards Chin.......Oh dear what will Doctor Fu-Manchu make of cricket?

- We know he does not like Beer drinking since his men smashed up the German owned Tsing-Tao Brewery.

- The Doctor's allies in the Chin Government are calling for the purchase of modern rifles but will that be enough since in Tokyo the Government seems to be looking at a major upgrade of Nippon Artillery and Ports.

I bet Nippon is one of the countries that cannot build the Airships mentioned at the end of the Newsletter, I had visions of an explosive carrying handglider unit to fly down on enemy shipping in true nippon style.

Is the smashing of the Germainia brewery by the Chin an act of war, I would imagine depriving any German of his beer will cause 2an incident" if next month an attack on Germainias baking industry & destruction of all their Bretzels results then surely it can only mean war.

Obviuosly the Nippon trade in silk & provision of undergarments will spread across the globe, it was simply intended to get the most needy first, admittedly instructions on how & where to place the garments ahd to be included in the package, but seeing the Appache attacking at Little Big Horn, wearing Longjohns may well go down in history .

J Flower wrote:I bet Nippon is one of the countries that cannot build the Airships mentioned at the end of the Newsletter, I had visions of an explosive carrying handglider unit to fly down on enemy shipping in true nippon style.

Is the smashing of the Germainia brewery by the Chin an act of war, I would imagine depriving any German of his beer will cause 2an incident" if next month an attack on Germainias baking industry & destruction of all their Bretzels results then surely it can only mean war.

Obviuosly the Nippon trade in silk  & provision of undergarments will spread across the globe, it was simply intended to get the most needy first, admittedly instructions on how & where to place the garments ahd to be included in the package, but seeing the Appache attacking at Little Big Horn, wearing Longjohns may well go down in history .

No prior mention of Nippon wanting to join those "Magnificient Men in their Flying Machines" or "Wacky Races" as its known in other parts. But no doubt with cash and an Engineer you too can crash into Ships, the Sea, Mountains etc and get lost over deserts, rain forests and shark infested sea.

Oh dear........are Nippon Silk merchants that green about how trade is carried out in Chin! (Or just pretending).......Burning down a chaps brewery, killing his manager and making all the staff run away in terror is fairly run of the mill stuff in Chin and amongst the Opium Cartel, Triads and others involved in the trade of the Chin Empire.

The good news for Nippon Silk Merchants in Chin is that compared to the really bad places like Hong Kong, Canton, Shanghai, Nanking Tsing-Tao etc they have set up in gentle rural backwater. Where according to the Czar the Siberian Host are good Orthodox Boys who like to sing Hymns and buy silk things for their wives, mothers and girlfriends.

Actions like buying down a rival Vodka distillery in Vladivostock may spoil the Czar happy day dream and cause his ministers a degree of humiliation in front of the Czar. In scabble his is an offernce second only to causing are beloved Queen to express her disappointment to Lord Derby over their monthly tea and scones and can be really bad for the health of people with matches.