These Romans are crazy

Well, it's been a quiet year in Caledonia, out there on the edge of the world.

We have been watching the antics of the Romans with a mx of bemusement and amusement, in particular the antics of their  emperor who seems so far fallen from old JC who came to visit us 100 years ago...as that well-know Gaulish Philosopher Asterix once said "These Romans are Crazy"

I mean if you are going to have a civil war, get on and have one  Don't march half way across your land, get to your capital and go "you know, suddenly not sure it's worth the effort!"  I mean with that attitude your empire will be finished in 400 years tops

Meanwhile, here in Caledonia, we are getting on growing wheat, feasting, drinking wine, having druids do Sunday service, and building lots of brochs

That's the news from Caledonia, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average

Jason2 wrote:
Meanwhile, here in Caledonia, we are getting on growing wheat, feasting, drinking wine, having druids do Sunday service, and building lots of brochs

That's the news from Caledonia, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average

Since imported wine is expensive in Caledonia and the place only really exports slaves and the odd hunting dog to pay for its wine habit (standard rate in Gaul used to be a Slave = 1 Amphora of imported wine).

The above would seem to be an advert from Caledonian Slave exporters to Ludus Owners needing novalty acts? As well as strong women do Caladonian exporters do any Dwarf or Monster acts?

Meanwhile, here in Iberia we are getting on with growing wheat, olives and other fruits, drinking watered wine and making odd souces out of fish guts, honouring the gods, building lots of roads and bridges and raising our sheep, goats, oxen and very superior horses.

Only problem is that my top cockrel seems to taken up trying to look behind himself all the time and is looking at his food in a very suspecious manner.......do people think this could be a Omen?

Latest issue of Rome is Burning has shown up and for non-players interested in how life is going for "Team Rome" that heroic and spiffing bunch of chaps in the Senate of Rome trying to stave off social, political, military anarchy and excessive increases in fire insurance premiums.......life is still pretty grim and somewhat unstable at the top table of Roman Society:-

1) We are being mocked and insulted by Caladonian Druids and the Greek comedy loving King of Kings. When not plotting with Jewish Bankers and Greek Actors the Parthian King seems to be spending his time trying to invite the Alani and the White Huns to cross the Caspian Gates and "visit" civilization. Not sure if the Alani and other Sythian Hordes prefer Greek Comedy and drinking wine to their normal activity of watching grass and weeds grow and sometimes smoking it. But the words wolf, over and door spring to mind. Along with who will get the bugger out again?

2) The Sanate is pretty sure that the consitution of Rome only allows for one Dictator for Life (Emperor) at any one time and in the event that a emergency calls for a new Dictator they need to be voted into the post by the Senate. Thus it is with some annoyance that the Senate has now seen two people declare themselves to be the Dictator of Rome while the original Post Holder is still alive and without due process and a Senatoril Vote. Its unconstitutional, illegal and an outrage! They latest to defy the Senate and attempt to overthrow the laws of Rome this very month is a non entity Ionian Greek. Almost certainly a follower of some dodgy Greek Philosophy who has been tapped up by a Greek actor working for the Bankers of Seleucia.

3) Ref the two people already claiming the office. This was almost reduced too one when Nero rode too far ahead of relief forces marching too Rome and was almost killed by by Rebel Cavalry. Meanwhile the Gaulic Dandy tried to probe the defences of Rome by pushing a cohort of rebel guards across the river only for them too be smacked back roughly. Too the great relief of anyone likely to have to pay for rebuilding Rome (again!) and for the sake of fire insurance premiums and the virtually empty treasury of Rome it is to hoped that the relief arrives before the rebel guards storm the city.

On subject of the relief forces:

4) No sooner had two legions left the Danube frontier than we get reports of trouble on the frontier with Dacia. It is too be hoped that Germanicus can manage while looking in two directions at once? Or is that three due to the problems in Asia?

5) Aulus Vitellius also leading two legions south from the Rhine but he has a poorly leg and a bad cough.

6) Legion VI lead by Galba also marching from Iberia to help save Rome from the rebels but have had some poorly bad Omens. Details awaited of when and were they need to avoid still awaited.

Following the repulse of the Guards from the rather tumbled down and neglected defences of Rome

7) The Senate was unable to make up its mind what to do about the rebels, some want the unit decimated as per traditional Roman law of the subject. While the influential Egyptian faction want to pay them to go east and fight Parthians and Jews.

Quote rec'd from Builders Guild saying it will take five years to restore the walls of Rome. Quote did not however show a fixed price and following some recently inflated builds (poor Senator Piso!) and the open ended money pit contract that is Nero's Golden House it is very unlikely that team Rome is going to allow the Senate to agree to a non fixed price contract no matter how hard the Guild and the Priest's push. Though no doubt the Senate and team Rome are all in favour of work for the Plebs and Senators not getting lynched in Urban riots.

In other news

9) Small outbreak of plague in Lusitania.........was the recent Iberian games and celebrations of a Lusitanian victory a super spreader event?

10) Social confusion caused when Senator Otha was appointed to the Equestrian Post of Prefect of Aegyptus and the former Equestrian Prefect was appointed to Senatorial posts in Cilicia and Judea now resolved with Senator Otha taking Cilicia (menaced by Parthian raiders) and Judea (menaced by Jewish rebels) while Tuscus goes back too his old post in Aegyptus to deal with raiders from Axum who are currently wrecking the far south of the province including the new port for the Indian trade intended to cut out Parthian involvement in the trade of the Silk Road.