What’s your best Roman meme?

J Flower wrote:Seems the Guard is going to be a tough nut to crack

After all 810 Roman Guard cavalry (who seem to have, been found remounts, recovered from High Sickness levels & low Morale all whilst marching to the coast) drove off 10,500 Roman Trained Auxiliaries, across the shallow river (which seems to have become a major obstacle.)  Odds of 12:1 were obviously not high enough.

Luckily the Rhine Legions didn't cross the River higher up & march down the southern side, they would no doubt have made contact with the  Infantry of the Guard & if the  performance of the Cavalry of the Guard  is used as a benchmark then the Danube & Rhine Legions had a lucky escape.

Well the Guard probably benefitted from the new recovery from fatigue rules and I believe that only the Moesian troops were engaged. [The weather and the terrain were also against them]. This next month should I believe see the Danube legions tip the balance.

Interestingly Geminus went to Cannae on a “holdover” order and is not there to mess things up.

Well the voting happened and folk got elected then there was an agreement that there would be an attempt at consensus. We can’t blame everything on the Gods of Agema!

I’m going to re-read the news and look for the positives.

Regor wrote:Well the voting happened and folk got elected then there was an agreement that there would be an attempt at consensus. We can’t blame everything on the Gods of Agema!

I’m going to re-read the news and look for the positives.

Looking on the positive side the water supply and the drains in Rome still seem to be working ok.

Also it would seem that only the first wave 4500 Cavalry of Moesian Relief Force crossed the river and got thrown back by the rebels Cavalry.
While the 2nd wave of Geminus Auxilia Noricum which has another 6,000 horse and 6,000 foot plus the third wave made up of the best of the best of the Rhine Legions did not cross the river and engage at all.

Since anything which happens prior to the arrival of the Consul Geminus is clearly minor skirmishing fairly sure he can put the actions of the Moesian Horse down as a minor pre battle probe to check water levels and how much of a problem the river is in various places and cover it in a couple of pages before giving the battle the full treatment in his multi scroll epic of how he saved Rome.

Only concern I would have is if the Guard Cavalry is just a rear Guard and Cordus has done a runner, which may be hinted at in the paper with all that talk of the Guard Cavalry fighting like the 300. When trying to get at the Janissary Guard in G2 somehow both the Mamlukes and the whole Anatolian Navy who my character had no feud with got in the way and had to be wiped out while the Guard kept running. If so trying to write up how I saved Rome by heroiically fighting at odds of 35 to 1 in my favour may need a bit of spin by Geminus.

Also on the bright side for Geminus is the fact that he is not the Consul back in Rome reviewing the books and trying to figure out if we can fund some new walls and perhaps the odd game to keep the mob happy and the Senate un-lynched. With a annual deficit of of higher than 3,610,085 denarii (Too many new Troops or loss of Asia tax?) even after stopping work on that money pit known as the Golden House that would seem to be a "no".

Think we need a blood bath just to balance the books which might explain the Gov of Syria actions........taking one for the team? Though wiping out the Guard and the other rebel legion in Asia might help as well since it seems to be impossible to stop paying the blighters.

Regor wrote:Well the voting happened and folk got elected then there was an agreement that there would be an attempt at consensus. We can’t blame everything on the Gods of Agema!

I’m going to re-read the news and look for the positives.

What I can blame on the Gods of Agema is the city authorities getting it into their heads to sale the whole of the fixtures and fittings of the "Golden House" as one lot.

Which seems a totally stupid way to raise funds. Trajan was going to put in a bid for 200,000 for some of Nero's more respectable art works to go into the residence of the House of the Pontifex Maximus which is in the Grove of Vesta next to the Home of the Vestals. Not sure how many of Nero more erotic art works are really suitable for entertaining the chief Vestal over a herbal tea........Priests of the cult of Isis or worshippers of Bacchus different matter.

At this rate we either end up flogging solid gold baths for peanuts and look like idiots. Or if a player character buys them what is the bet that somehow they are lead covered in very thin gold leaf.

Ad Infinitum for Iunius (June) 820 has shown up with further accounts of forum gossip and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of spiffing chaps in clean white toga’s with purple stripes as they try and make an honest denerii (from plunder, slave taking and farming…..but never trade) and save the light of civilization from being put out by various Druidic types, horse and camel nomadic raiders, pirates and assorted religious fanatics and traitors employed by the man in slippers and silk PJ’s the so called Parthian King of Kings.

For non players of Rome is Burning who may wish to consider joining the Toga Party (or perhaps even the smelly furs and leather party) here are the highlights as reported in Ad Infinitum:

I) After recent disasters such as fire, plague and nearly a famine plus political instability caused by the death of Nero and the revolt of the Guard things seem to be slowly getting back to normal with fire damage repaired, water supply and drains working ok and even some people who had formerly left the city returning after deciding they do not fancy farming that much. And its newly voted in Magistrates finally able to gather information on the over-all state of things:

Major problem is the city treasury really needs to raise 3.7m denerii to improve its defences, 30,000 denerii a month to pay its cleaners and 180,000 denerii a month to upkeep its water supply and drains. Its currently got 100,000 denerii in the city treasury and zero income as Nero waived all City taxes to help its recovery from the great Fire switching funding of the Urbans and even the fire service to the military treasury.

The Military or Imperial Treasury is in a somewhat better state and currently contains 11,067,072 denarii, however after the loss of revenue from Asia due to revolts and Parthian actions plus increased expenditure like funding the Urbans and several new Legions expenditure now exceeds income by 3,610,085 denarii a year.

Basically Rome and its Empire are going bankrupt unless its leaders in the Senate can come up with a cunning plan.

II) In the Senate the socially promoted Gaius C. Tuscus has shown hopefully with a cunning plan to solve the financial crisis but first of all to find out that while his Egyptian Party remains the largest in the Senate it has been significantly reduced in size as Senator Inguiomerus and his friends who all have links with the current Governor of Syria have split off from the block.

Sadly for Senator Tuscus the defectors did not take noted troublemaker Senator Poppaeus with them. Having just dodged a treason trial Senator Poppaeus celebrated by lavishing praise on Aulus D. Geminus one of the Consuls who let him off. While at the same time launching a savage verbal attack on the newly elected Pontifex Maximus as being the “self-serving Trajan, who does nothing but waste away in a debauched life in the wilds of Iberia”

An attack on the High Priest which would seem to risk a) Being hit by a bolt of lightning for insulting the Gods and b) Probably caused Tuscus to wince a bit and probably think “With friends like Poppaeus who needs enemies”.

III) The target of the Poppaeus actually did nothing more debaunched this month than sort out paperwork for clients, attend meetings about road building in Iberia and take his mother too the Theatre. Though it was a play by Lucian and his mother is the Lady Barbatia Marcia.

IV) In news already covered elsewhere many people were expecting a large battle at Cannae this month but in the event Marcus Aponius Saturninus Moesian cavalry did no more than probe the defences of the rebel Guard and got roughly treated by the Guard Cavalry. While Consul Geminus and two Rhine Legions lead by Aulus Vitellius showed up to support the loyalist forces but took no part in this months skirmishing. So even larger battle next month with Cordus planning to prove his claim to the throne of Caesar like well Caesar? Or has the cowardly dog Cordus abandoned a cavalry rear guard to gain time and is now running back to his master in Ctesiphon?

V) The Navy still seems to be trying to sort out its command structure which may help Cordus get away but in Carthage various family members of the seem to be lobbying Titus Flavius
Vespasian to take revenge for Cordus attack on his brother and help block any possible escape of Cordus which could rather hamper the escape.

- Somehow Cordus found the re-mounts for his cavalry which cost someone around 810,000 denerii. Does that someone now want to find the serious cash to hire a lot of merchant ship captains to risk treason charges and being sunk at sea by ramming to get the Guard out of Italy? Or does the King of Kings just write off his investment and let the Guard go down fighting?

- Mercello Marius seems to have been accepted as Procurator Ducenari of the Classis Misenatium. But has the appointment of Opiter Viducius Fidelis a trusted Tribune from the Danube Legions Moesian cavalry been accepted? Or is this fleet still loyal to Cordus and the Guard?

In theory both the Fleets based in Italy are “Praetorian” and were under the direct command of Nero before his death so its possible they have links with the Guard Commander Cordus before he murdered their commander. However the Classis Misenatium were outraged by the revolt and sent marines into Rome to help its defence and stood ready to spirit the Empress and Senate away to safety if required.

The fact that Mercello is Navy while the appointment of Opiter to command the Revenna fleet may look like a heavy handed take over by Danube Legion commanders who view the Navy as a type of taxi service may not go down as well. Will Marcus Aponius Saturninus and Geminus now enforce their authority or find someone already in the fleet they can work with to calm any ruffled Navy feathers?

VI) The King of Kings had a rather more debauched month than say Trajan (so why is Poppaeus not attacking him?) watching dodgy Greek plays and talking to Greek spies in his Palace in Ctesiphon. No mention of silk, slave girls, eunuchs or peeled grapes but think that can be taken as a given.

- Meanwhile more manly Parthians blockaded Singara while others prepared to defend the well defended town of Nisibis against Cestius Gallus and the hammer of Rome field Army. Which seems to be suffering from a timber shortage, probably not a major shock since they are in the Syrian desert

VII) On the edges of the main action in Syria - Gaius C. Tuscus (currently on holiday in Rome) has been confirmed as the new Procurator of Judea as well as being Governor of Egypt without any problems. Probably because no other Roman wants to touch the job with a barge pole esp with the Sicarii still running around killing Romans (another 44 this month).

While to the North the old Procurator of Judea Marcus S. Otho is settling into his post in Cilicia but has not had his authority accepted in the plum province of Asia which is currently also claimed by the “Emperor Aviola”………..does this mean war in Asia Minor? Or some dodgy mushrooms?

VIII) While currently many of their senior leaders are in Italy they continued to do Balkan type things in the Balkans like gassing themselves in a coal mine, dropping a bridge into the Danube and arresting a load of Donkeys and some women on banditry charges.

IX) Much the same can be said about the Rhineland where they blew up another shed and built a road into the middle of a dead end (ok the main village of King Radbod).

X) Meanwhile in North Africa and Britannia various people got tipped off about a future inspection by “The Man from Rome” allowing frantic polishing and drilling to take place so hopefully Aulus Vitellius will not too much to upset him (probably unlikely)

Ad Infinitum for July 820 has shown up with further accounts of forum gossip and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of spiffing chaps in clean white toga’s with purple stripes as they try and make an honest denerii (from plunder, slave taking and farming…..but never trade) and save the light of civilization from being put out by various Druidic types, horse and camel nomadic raiders, pirates and assorted religious fanatics and traitors employed by the man in slippers and silk PJ’s the so called Parthian King of Kings.

For non players of Rome is Burning who may wish to consider joining the Toga Party (or perhaps even the smelly furs and leather party) here are the highlights as reported in Ad Infinitum:

1) For reasons unknown Consul of Rome Aulus D. Geminus who is on campaign against the foes of Rome slipped down the Glory listing into second place behind the Pontifex Maximus who had zero religious duties to attend too this month and spent most of the month in his olive groves. This is even more odd when you consider the fact that the Consul made a personal donation of 1m denerii towards rebuilding the walls of Rome.

Only reason I can think of why Geminus who is an all round spiffing chap might have slipped a bit is that being Consul of Rome he is the current joint C in C of the Roman Army and basically it was not a great month for the Legions:-

2) Out in the East the Syrian legions were still having a debate about if they should get on with the main task and march rapidly to the lair of the beast in Seleucia before the Parthian Field Army arrived. Or if they could gather enough timber from buildings to prop mines and a siege ram and storm the fortified city core of Nisibis. When the Parthian Field Army showed up and put an end to that debate.

The good news for the Romans is that they control wells in the suburbs of Nisibis and have shelter from the sun while the Parthians and thousands of horses and camels are in a very dry region a long way from water and fodder. The bad news is that they are stuck between the garrison of Nisibis and a Parthian relief army.

3) Meanwhile in Italia the Consul took a rather back seat position and allowed commanders from the Rhine and Moesia to make the offerings to the Gods, most of the pre-battle speeches and take the positions of honour in the attack on the Rebel Guard and the so called Emperor Cordus at Cannae.

- In the event the rebel Guard did not stand and fight but ran away allowing Cannae to be taken with ease. Unfortunately the vast bulk of our troops then sat on their asses while Guard marched away and even roughed up a Cavalry pursuit which caused us to totally lose contact with the Guard again.

The good news is that the Guard Infantry were down to 4,000 strong even before their latest fight but how much plot armour does the Guard have ??!!!! Sods are harder to get rid off then the Janissary Corp.

Think Roman commanders may have given orders to attack a location like Cannae rather than to shadow the movements of the Guard and attack them. That or Richard is treating the most professional Army in the world at the time and for 2000 years to come like a bunch of C18 drunken bums from Glori?

Happy to accept that the Guard would have stood off Roman Cavalry of this period since to ride down formed Heavy Infantry was not the job of Roman Horse. Rather they would have scouted, harrassed, cut up forage parties and delayed the Guard while calling up the Infantry who's job it would have been to break the Guard. When broken and running the Cavalry would then have ridden the routers down and made sure they did not rally or reform.

4) Following breaking contact at Cannae the Guard Cavalry is next reported in the Taverns of Brundisium having moved south. Brundisium is now under blockade by the Roman Navy and other Naval forces and a huge amount of influence seem to be being used to make sure Cordus does not do a midnight flit out of Italia. So far dire threats to curse any merchant of navy captain and nail them and their families to their own mast seems to have worked. Or perhaps the Captains are just holding out for a better price too betray Rome?

5) However before the Guard Infantry and Cordus himself broke contact he was reported as heading south west towards Canusium. So was he trying to use the Guard Cavalry to decoy everyone too the heel of Italy while he marches back too Rome? Or is he going for another location completely?

6) Meanwhile back in Rome Consul Aulus D. Geminus vetoed the sale of the items recovered from the Golden House until he could get a valuation done and set a reserve price so the city does not lose out. Shockingly the sold gold baths and plumbing believed to have sunk the Roman treasury were valued at a paltry 500,000 denerii. Sadly even with the Consul personal gift of 1m denerii this is not enough to fund even half of stage 1 of the walls of Rome. Plus many people seem to think Geminus money would be better spent on upkeep of the sewers and water supply system before the place floods and we all catch plague.

7) The other Consul of Rome Gnaeus Domitius Corbulo issued an edict to tidy up Roman building laws after the great fire. He like Germinus also seemed mostly concerned about the financial situation and gathering information about what can be done. Seems that:-

a) Disbanding the guard and ending the revolt in Italia will help.
b) Likewise disbanding the rebel legion in Asia and getting back the tax from this province will help.
c) Finally it was suggested by the treasury that tax rates need to be put up. This would however need a Consul to propose and the Senate to confirm the measure which would make both really unpopular, Its also viewed as handing the agents of the King of Parthia and other unfriends of Rome a flask of oil and a lighted match.

Various people held political dinners in Rome though only Gaius C. Tuscus had his in strict privacy with Gladiator Guards on the door. One hates to think what Nero’s informers would have made of that.

9) Usual news from the Balkans about gangs of wild women and dead bodies being found in the woods.

10) Usual news from Parthia about the King of Kings meeting with spies and pirates and putting up new “artworks” mocking Rome.

11) Usual news from Judea with various Jews moaning about access to the Temple or perhaps that is lack of access to the Temple. So far 2000 have gathered at the gates of Jerusalem to moan and have the city gates slammed in their faces by the High Priests men. This is not looking like something which will end well. Phannias ben Samuel, has been appointed Royal Chamberlain of Judea however as the man is a leading Jewish Sadducee, and believed to be loyal to both King Harold Agrippa II (an old drinking buddy of Nero) and Rome this will probably give Jews of other factions something else to moan about.

12) Someone tipped the II Augusta Legion in Glevum that a “man from Rome” is coming which caused a bit of a panic and frantic replacement of armour which has rusted in the rain of Britannia. Apart from that the crack II Augusta Legion is considered to be one of the better units in the Roman Army. So why is it stuck in Glevum of all places? Apart from the good boar hunting and standing ready to beat up the Silures if required.

13) Usual news from the wild woods of Germania only nothing got blown up this month. But plenty of getting drunk and women seeing things and talking rubbish. Two facts which may or may not be related.

14) As mentioned earlier in Iberia people just lived their best life like cultured Romans of the old school. About the only thing of interest was the Corduba Mint has changed its coin dyes and decided its too much work to put a new Consul on every year.

Stuart,

once again a fair review of the game this turn from my speed reading of events. And I do hope one or two new folk choose to join us.

Stuart Bailey wrote:Ad Infinitum for July 820 has shown up with further accounts of forum gossip and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of spiffing chaps in clean white toga’s with purple stripes as they try and make an honest denerii (from plunder, slave taking and farming…..but never trade) and save the light of civilization from being put out by various Druidic types, horse and camel nomadic raiders, pirates and assorted religious fanatics and traitors employed by the man in slippers and silk PJ’s the so called Parthian King of Kings.

For non players of Rome is Burning who may wish to consider joining the Toga Party (or perhaps even the smelly furs and leather party) here are the highlights as reported in Ad Infinitum:

1) For reasons unknown Consul of Rome Aulus D. Geminus who is on campaign against the foes of Rome slipped down the Glory listing into second place behind the Pontifex Maximus who had zero religious duties to attend too this month and spent most of the month in his olive groves.  This is even more odd when you consider the fact that the Consul made a personal donation of 1m denerii towards rebuilding the walls of Rome.

Why could that have been?

Only reason I can think of why Geminus who is an all round spiffing chap might have slipped a bit is that being Consul of Rome he is the current joint C in C of the Roman Army and basically it was not a great month for the Legions:-

2) Out in the East the Syrian legions were still having a debate about if they should get on with the main task and march rapidly to the lair of the beast in Seleucia before the Parthian Field Army arrived.  Or if they could gather enough timber from buildings to prop mines and a siege ram and storm the fortified city core of Nisibis.  When the Parthian Field Army showed up and put an end to that debate.

The good news for the Romans is that they control wells in the suburbs of Nisibis and have shelter from the sun while the Parthians and thousands of horses and camels are in a very dry region a long way from water and fodder.  The bad news is that they are stuck between the garrison of Nisibis and a Parthian relief army.

3) Meanwhile in Italia the Consul took a rather back seat position and allowed commanders from the Rhine and Moesia to make the offerings to the Gods, most of the pre-battle speeches and take the positions of honour in the attack on the Rebel Guard and the so called Emperor Cordus at Cannae.

- In the event the rebel Guard did not stand and fight but ran away allowing Cannae to be taken with ease.  Unfortunately the vast bulk of our troops then sat on their asses while Guard marched away and even roughed up a Cavalry pursuit which caused us to totally lose contact with the Guard again.

The good news is that the Guard Infantry were down to 4,000 strong even before their latest fight but how much plot armour does the Guard have ??!!!! Sods are harder to get rid off then the Janissary Corp.

Think Roman commanders may have given orders to attack a location like Cannae rather than to shadow the movements of the Guard and attack them.  That or Richard is  treating the most professional Army in the world at the time and for 2000 years to come like a bunch of C18 drunken bums from Glori?

Happy to accept that the Guard would have stood off Roman Cavalry of this period since to ride down formed Heavy Infantry was not the job of Roman Horse. Rather they would have scouted, harrassed, cut up forage parties and delayed the Guard while calling up the Infantry who's job it would have been to break the Guard. When broken and running the Cavalry would then have ridden the routers down and made sure they did not rally or reform.

Perhaps the Gods just didnt like the cooperation between three commanders? Previously where two 'generals' have fought on the same side one seems to get the glory and t'other is left to sulk... But we mere mortals don't know wha the Gods do ... do we?

4) Following breaking contact at Cannae the Guard Cavalry is next reported in the Taverns of Brundisium having moved south.  Brundisium is now under blockade by the Roman Navy and other Naval forces and a huge amount of influence seem to be being used to make sure Cordus does not do a midnight flit out of Italia.  So far dire threats to curse any merchant of navy captain and nail them and their families to their own mast seems to have worked.  Or perhaps the Captains are just holding out for a better price too betray Rome?
 
5) However before the Guard Infantry and Cordus himself broke contact he was reported as heading south west towards Canusium.  So was he trying to use the Guard Cavalry to decoy everyone too the heel of Italy while he marches back too Rome?  Or is he going for another location completely?

Wherever it will be I am sure it will remain a running sore on Team Romes ar*e!    

6) Meanwhile back in Rome Consul Aulus D. Geminus vetoed the sale of the items recovered from the Golden House until he could get a valuation done and set a reserve price so the city does not lose out.  Shockingly the sold gold baths and plumbing believed to have sunk the Roman treasury were valued at a paltry 500,000 denerii.  Sadly even with the Consul personal gift of 1m denerii this is not enough to fund even half of stage 1 of the walls of Rome.  Plus many people seem to think Geminus money would be better spent on upkeep of the sewers and water supply system before the place floods and we all catch plague.

7) The other Consul of Rome Gnaeus Domitius Corbulo issued an edict to tidy up Roman building laws after the great fire.  He like Germinus also seemed mostly concerned about the financial situation and gathering information about what can be done.  Seems that:-

a) Disbanding the guard and ending the revolt in Italia will help. Yup
b) Likewise disbanding the rebel legion in Asia and getting back the tax from this province will help. Yes and can the Senate just vote not to pay/support them and tell the local politico's to hide their treasury?
c) Finally it was suggested by the treasury that tax rates need to be put up.  This would however need a Consul to propose and the Senate to confirm the measure which would make both really unpopular,  Its also viewed as handing the agents of the King of Parthia and other unfriends of Rome a flask of oil and a lighted match.    

Various people held political dinners in Rome though only Gaius C. Tuscus had his in strict privacy with Gladiator Guards on the door.  One hates to think what Nero’s informers would have made of that.

9) Usual news from the Balkans about gangs of wild women and dead bodies being found in the woods.
Which is I think good news?

10) Usual news from Parthia about the King of Kings meeting with spies and pirates and putting up new “artworks” mocking Rome.
I think that Geminus will need a fair bit of support when he sets off to the East.

11)  Usual news from Judea with various Jews moaning about access to the Temple or perhaps that is lack of access to the Temple.  So far 2000 have gathered at the gates of Jerusalem to moan and have the city gates slammed in their faces by the High Priests men.  This is not looking like something which will end well.  Phannias ben Samuel, has been appointed Royal Chamberlain of Judea however as the man is a leading Jewish Sadducee, and believed to be loyal to both King Harold Agrippa II (an old drinking buddy of Nero) and Rome this will probably give Jews of other factions something else to moan about.

12) Someone tipped the II Augusta Legion in Glevum that a “man from Rome” is coming which caused a bit of a panic and frantic replacement of armour which has rusted in the rain of Britannia. Apart from that the crack II Augusta Legion is considered to be one of the better units in the Roman Army.  So why is it stuck in Glevum of all places?  Apart from the good boar hunting and standing ready to beat up the Silures if required.

13) Usual news from the wild woods of Germania only nothing got blown up this month.  But plenty of getting drunk and women seeing things and talking rubbish.  Two facts which may or may not be related.

14) As mentioned earlier in Iberia people just lived their best life like cultured Romans of the old school.  About the only thing of interest was the Corduba Mint has changed its coin dyes and decided its too much work to put a new Consul on every year.

Thanks for the update Stuart, seems Rome is getting lively!

Upon the Parthian artworks, why am I getting images of a 1st C Banksy?

Jason2 wrote:Thanks for the update Stuart, seems Rome is getting lively!

Upon the Parthian artworks, why am I getting images of a 1st C Banksy?

Jason2 wrote:Thanks for the update Stuart, seems Rome is getting lively!

Upon the Parthian artworks, why am I getting images of a 1st C Banksy?

So far its its been mostly "official" stone work in Parthia which basically says "I ride a horse and what a great big King of Kings I am" rather than subversive paint work saying nasty things about Rome and leading Romans in true "Life of Brian" style.

However we already have the jokes about trying to work out the difference between the various Jewish factions - People Front of Judea, Popular Front of Judea, Judean Peoples Front etc. So please do not give the big dude and the brains of that particular outfit (his horse) any more idea's.

Though to be fair evidence from Poppeii - graffti saying nasty things about your political and other rivals was a thing. Though I get the feeling that Poppeii and the Bay of Naples area seems to have been stag and hen Party Central for the Roman Empire and the rule was "What happens in Poppeii stays in Poppeii". So evidence from this location might be a bit particular and like using Cancun for evidence of modern American social values in the Mid West.

My character as Pontifix Maximius is currently spending 50,000 Denerii a month to pay for Street Cleaners to keep the streets and Temples clean and in good condition so will be most upset and will press charges against anyone doing a "Banksy" on a Temple Wall.

Ad Infinitum for August 820 has shown up with further accounts of forum gossip and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of spiffing chaps in clean white toga’s with purple stripes as they try and make an honest denerii (from plunder, slave taking and farming…..but never trade) and save the light of civilization from being put out by various Druidic types, horse and camel nomadic raiders, pirates and assorted religious fanatics and traitors employed by the man in slippers and silk PJ’s the so called Parthian King of Kings.

For non players of Rome is Burning who may wish to consider joining the Toga Party (or perhaps even the smelly furs and leather party) here are the highlights as reported in Ad Infinitum:

1) Out in the East after mutterings in the ranks about lack of timber for siege works in the middle of a desert and the true target being King Vologases (or the Royal Treasury of Parthia) and not some over fortified camel stop. Governor of Syria Cestius Gallus made the probably wise decision not to stop and besiege Nisibis with undefeated Parthian field armies at his back and instead continued his march to the valley of the river Tigris and then down the south bank of the river to the great metropolis of Seleucia.

- This move seems to have wrong footed the Parthians as the only Parthian Cavalry seen were on the north bank of the Tigris and they were going the opposite way towards Opis. Crown Prince Pacorus and 3,000 Median Light Infantry followed the Romans skirmishing with the rear of Gallus Army all the way to Seleucia at which point Gallus decided he had had enough of arrows and sling stones being shot at him and ordered 4,000 Roman Cavalry to end this annoyance. The Medes are feared mountain fighters but outnumbered, one the flat and without Cavalry support they were helpless. Prince Pacorus was one of the few who got away from this slaughter due to his very fast horse and some good armour which turned a spear thrust.

- It would seem that Gallus now has Seleucia the economic heart of the Parthia at his mercy. The questions which remain after he burns and sacks Seleucia would seem to be I) Can he get across the river and do the same to Ctesiphon? II) How will the Greeks and Jews in the Roman Empire react to the destruction of one of the greatest Greek and Jewish centres after Alexandria and Antioch? Will it terrify the Jewish rebels as Gallus believes or trigger a revolt? III) Can Gallus and his Army get home with their loot from the heart of Darkness opposed by some very upset Parthians? IV) If he does get back to Syria how will Gallus use his victory?

2) 2,000 trouble makers/Jewish pilgrims (the two are not mutually exclusive) have moved away from the gates of Jerusalem. They will probably be back at some stage unless the Gallus theory that all evils in the east are a result of Parthian funding is correct and he cuts the head of the snake.

3) Also in the east famous party lover and crony of Nero - Marcus S. Otho seems to be pondering an invite from Gallus to join him partying in Parthia. Or if he thinks the coast of Ionia is better for a Roman of culture and breeding? To help him think Otho spent the month in Tarsus “entertaining” Legion X.

- Though to be fair it was It was not all fun and games for Otho, his men and his elite team of rope dancers. Since Otha cavalry scouts are now in Asia looking for the infamous rebel and outlaw Archelais looking for Manius Acilius Aviola. They have not found him yet….perhaps they should try Sardis the capital of Asia? However the did find 3,400 citizens of Antiochia walking to Pannonia. Though why anyone would want to leave one of the greatest and most civilized cities in the East for the wilds of Pannonia is not made clear. Are they mad? Or expecting big trouble as a result of the Governor of Syria latest actions?

4) In an action of either insane bravery blessed by the Gods or utter stupidity depending on how you view things Captain Caesco Caetronius Cornix of the Trireme Concordia decided not to wait and guide in the rest of the fleets marines as per orders but instead attacked the rebel Guard Cavalry in Brundisium with a mere 200 marines from II Squadron of the Classis Misenatium. However, some times it is better to be a lucky commander and the marines were saved from disaster by the fact that the rebels had earlier disbanded with many taking their horses and riding off for home. While other rebels celebrated by getting drunk with local whores and other bar room rabble willing to share a drink with these vile traitors who broke their oaths to the Rome, Nero and the Gods.

The drunken state of the rebels meant that when Cornix men found and started to spear the stabled horses of the Guard as an offering to the God of the Sea the Guards and various hangers on staggered from their beds, taverns floors etc to see what was happening and were cut down in the street by waiting Marines. Slaughtered in the gutter and in their own vomit like dogs by the forces of the Godly. Naturally the Treasury had a moan about loss of tax payers.

5) In the wilds of the North on the Danube other boatmen and followers of Neptune were not having such a good time of it. First a bunch of wild women and donkeys of the Iazyes tribe showed up and threatened to burn down the Temple of Neptune if not ferried across the river. Then the Siscia Cohort showed up with various others and threatened to execute the ferrymen for helping the escape of run away slaves and donkey (the property of the Roman Army) thieves, unless the ferry men helped them cross the river, Could the Danube Legions just not pay the fare rather than bullying people all the time? Is this what happens when senior leaders are away from the frontiers in Italy?

- North of the river famous donkey lover King Catualda of the Marcomanni agreed to take in the donkeys (property of the Roman Army) and their feral handlers into his tribe and when the Siscia Cohort showed up demanding return of run-away Roman slaves and stolen army donkeys the result was a fight in which 500 Roman Auxilia were killed by 6,000 Marcomanni.

- Roman honour would seem to demand revenge on the Marcomanni killers and handlers of stolen Roman Army Donkeys.

6) In the wilds along the Rhine relations also seem to have broken down between the Roman Army and their “Ally” King Radbod of the Frisii. After the Roman Army found out that their “Ally” was holding thousands of Roman slaves taken in a fairly recent Germanic raid on Roman settlers going to Belgica which Radbod had blamed on his tribal rivals the Bruceteri.

- Roman columns have been sent out to save these enslaved Roman citizens one of which has returned with 1662 pigs, 252 horses, 650 Frisii slaves but 0 freed Romans. It seems that the Frisii may have moved their slaves to area of frontier palisades. Perhaps intending to flog them to traders and dispose of the evidence of King Radbod double dealing and lies. Fortunately this has been discovered and the King and his Frisii are now in deep disgrace with both the Rhine Legions and the framed Bruceteri who Rome may even owe an apology too. Not that they are going to get it.

7) Also in the wilds of the North the “Man from Rome” has arrived in Britannia to find out what is going on. No upsetting reports as of yet…...but its early days.

Plague in Trapezus.

9) Various construction projects started and finished across Empire and in Barbarian lands including new stone bridge across Rhine and a new Port for Babylon. Though probably most important for the filling hole in Roman Treasury is the work done to bring extra land into productive use in Etruria.

10) In Rome the Senate and its various financial committees are pleased to report that we are still going bankrupt but at a slower rate as revenue is up and some costs have gone down such as when the Guard Cavalry disbanded. Seems that if the rest of the rebel Guard could be disbanded with not too many killed this would help even more.

- Some Senators with the backing of the influential guild of prostitutes complained about the lack of respect shown to the wishes of Senators who wish to make a donation to the treasury for a specific purpose in particular the failure to “ring fence” a donation of 1m denerii form the Consul Aulus D. Geminus for the walls of Rome being swallowed up in the general treasury.

11) Trajan sent another 710,250 to the Treasury this month as a bid for the contents of the Golden House. As no auction held this month the treasury just treated this as a failed bid and a donation to the Treasury. Though perhaps because of earlier criticism from Senators and the guild of prostitutes, or out of respect for the Pontifex Maximus or out of fear of Cordus and the rebel guard. The treasury did then spend almost all of this money on paying the bonus left in Nero’s will to the garrison of Rome with only 970 denerii retained by the Treasury. But still every little helps until Cestius Gallus can get back with loot of Parthia and save the day.

- Interesting Treasury, Senator Fronto paid out this money to the defenders of Rome in the name of the Empress Poppaea widow of the murdered Nero and beloved former wife of Otha. Does Fronto think that the troops are more likely to fight harder to defend the widow of Nero and her baby daughters from the killer of her husband and his thugs than they will fight to defend the Senate and the laws of Rome? Is Fronto a cynic or a romantic?

12) Odd lack of news concerning Cordus and the Guard. Consul Corbulo has taken steps to defend Rome and has sent out Cavalry Scouts who have not yet located Cordus trying to double back to Rome. While Consul Geminus field army also seems to have lost contact perhaps because its cavalry suffered so badly with Germinus forced to order many of the Danube horse to rest and then return to the north following problems on the frontier.

So is the rebel Cordus and his band of cursed traitors I) Marching back to Rome II) Resting up somewhere III) Trying to flee the country – probably by sea though a lot of ships now seem to be on look out or IV) Are going to disband and try and slip back into civilian life? Answers on a post card to Consul Geminus please…...sure he will pay a generous reward. Even larger one for the head of Cordus gift wrapped for presentation to the Empress Poppaea.

13) The twin Consuls finally got new (post Great fire) Roman fire regulations added to the legal code and some despite the clear and obvious benefits some ***** still tried to convince Censor Galba to veto. Even though the Censor’s authority extends to matters of citizenship and social status and he has nothing to do with fire regulations! The only magistrates with authority to veto a Consul being another Consul, the Senate over matters of taxation and the now lost office of “Tribune of the Plebs”.

The influential Plebian leader Tiberius Sempronius Corvus of the builders guild who campaigned long and hard in favour of these new fire regulations would have made a good “Tribune of the Plebs” only someone murdered him and then covered his face with soot!? Why the soot?

14) Usual letter from someone called “Appian” lacking the traditional three Latin names this Appian is clearly a Barbarian but he did make some good points concerning problems of campaigns in Parthia and the political situation in Judea so is probably an Eastern Barbarian. Before slandering the military ability of Consul Geminus and insulting “Tribune” Corbulo for exceeding his authority as a military tribune. Totally ignoring fact that Corbulo was elected as the other Consul alongside Geminus.

15) Also some weird report about the ramblings of some demented Germanic seer. As she is not a member of the college of Pontiffs and no mention of any animal insides no true Roman need pay any attention to this mad woman.

Many thanks for the update Stuart, always enjoy learning how the game is going

The Once (and Future?) King of the Caledonians

Jason2 come on back the water’s wonderful!

Stuart, good précis as ever as it’s been a challenging time “in game”…. Very frustrating!

I think that Rome is lucky to have enough team players to maintain the Eternal City and probably the Rhine and Danube fronts and the Romans are fortunate that the grain supply is safe …. But Asia and Parthia need to come back into the fold…..

I hope the lessons of the guard’s escape can be actioned and the remainder of the blighters get caught and the threat neutered!

But we need to address player fatigue and frustration not sure how that will go?

Stay safe from the barbarians….

Obviously attacking Barbarian Germans & trying to free Roman Citizens is not the Roman way to do things, well at least going by the drop in Glory it caused.
Along with Igorius failed attempts to restart his love life, seems life on the Rhenus Frontier isn't a happy one.

Still at least Vitellus, brother has managed to arrive, in Britannia. I know Agema have a set of "Special dice" for anything Naval I attempt, so sending him by Ship was a big risk . Now he is in Britannia Lucius will hopefully start prodding some buttock.

Regor wrote:Jason2 come on back the water’s wonderful!

Stuart, good précis as ever as it’s been a challenging time “in game”…. Very frustrating!

I think that Rome is lucky to have enough team players to maintain the Eternal City and probably the Rhine and Danube fronts and the Romans are fortunate that the grain supply is safe …. But Asia and Parthia need to come back into the fold…..

I hope the lessons of the guard’s escape can be actioned and the remainder of the blighters get caught and the threat neutered!

But we need to address player fatigue and frustration not sure how that will go?

Stay safe from the barbarians….

What we need is more games, orgies, parties and lots and lots of olives to combat fatigue.

Also like in Scrabble its not victory or defeat which matters........its how you spin it !!

So the attempt on the Rhine to free Roman citizens taken captive has not "failed"..... rather various Roman hero's have done really well to find the captives (awards all round) and the Legions are now getting closer to their location having captive (pigs, horses and tribes people) who can be exchanged for our citizens in what is basically a kidnap situation.

Do not frustrated when you most cunning plan fails - its not down to you or even the GM.  Its all down to the will of the Gods (or that damn D20) and in the words of a Roman style poet the true Roman politico learns to look both in the eye, treat them will equal contempt and "be a man my son".

Then if he is wise he does not sulk in his tent or curse his ill fortune but rapidly writes own account as per the "Gallic Wars" of Ceasar to make him look good.

J Flower wrote:Obviously attacking Barbarian Germans & trying to free Roman Citizens is not the Roman way to do things, well at least going by the drop in Glory it caused.
Along with Igorius failed attempts to restart his love life, seems life on the Rhenus Frontier isn't a happy one.

Still at least Vitellus, brother has managed to arrive, in Britannia. I know Agema have a set of "Special dice" for anything Naval I attempt, so sending him by Ship was a big risk . Now he is in Britannia Lucius will hopefully start prodding some buttock.  

Looking forward to reading the accounts of Lucius from the rain soaked Islands of Britannia and if his report says to press on and finish the conquest or should the whole conquest be abandoned or semi abandoned due to the cost.

As well as the official report of the man from Rome wonder is their will also be "The secret confessions of a Roman pen pusher".

Frankly gents, I get the idea that history is written by the winners but it would. Be good to have a properly ‘weighted’ D20 too…..

I must have my chaps get writing perhaps a getting a section in the newspaper on a regular basis like Appian?

Or we could go large and have the plebs chanting “Four legs good, two legs bad”? It might improve the marching songs of the legions in Asia…..

Please send help. Or money on second thoughts make it money only.

Regor wrote:Jason2 come on back the water’s wonderful!

I will when things improve but (to be  vaguely serious) what with the "cost of living crisis", not just yet

Once my bosses give into my demands for a 50% pay rise...

Until then, just hold off invading Caledonia

Jason2 wrote:

Regor wrote:Jason2 come on back the water’s wonderful!

I will when things improve but (to be  vaguely serious) what with the "cost of living crisis", not just yet

Once my bosses give into my demands for a 50% pay rise...

Until then, just hold off invading Caledonia

Ref the cost/benefits of a possible future invasion of Caledonia, Hiberia and conversion of the northern buffer Kingdom of the Brigantines into a new Roman province v alternative options like total withdraw or building a bloody big wall and pretending that the original plan was never total conquest.

The Senate is currently awaiting for a report from Vitellus brother Lucius on its future policy. Apart from the fact that the report when finally produced will probably be written by Igorius and merely stamped by Lucius this should take anywhere between six months and a year. By which time Rome should have elected new Consuls and the problem of what to do about Britannia becomes a problem for someone else!

Think current feeling amongst the main Senatorial factions is that they do not really want to adopt a Brittanic policy which is going to cost more money and if anything they would like to re-deploy at least some of the troops deployed to Britannia elsewhere. Perhaps after beating up a few Druids and getting some locals to line up and promise to be nice and civilized.

Of course it will help policy making a lot if the Senate could actually work out what they have in Britannia and what this is costly v income from province. After recent report on cost of Judea v revenue doubt if this is going to make pretty reading. But assume another six months for team Rome to consider the information and decide upon a policy which may or may not involve a invasion of Caladonia.

Think the only things likely to speed up invasion of Cladonia would be a Player Character Gov of Britannia out to make a name for himself. That or the Chaos Gods on Mount Agema are so keen to see Vitellus get on a ship and risk Jason F special naval dice that his characters brother, a Legion and probably another Eagle go for a walk in the mist and vanish. After all he is only currently looking for 24,000 missing Romans what is another 10,000 between friends.

Stuart Bailey wrote:

Jason2 wrote:

Regor wrote:Jason2 come on back the water’s wonderful!

I will when things improve but (to be  vaguely serious) what with the "cost of living crisis", not just yet

Once my bosses give into my demands for a 50% pay rise...

Until then, just hold off invading Caledonia

Ref the cost/benefits of a possible future invasion of Caledonia, Hiberia and conversion of the northern buffer Kingdom of the Brigantines into a new Roman province v alternative options like total withdraw or building a bloody big wall and pretending that the original plan was never total conquest.

The Senate is currently awaiting for a report from Vitellus brother Lucius on its future policy.  Apart from the fact that the report when finally produced will probably be written by Igorius and merely stamped by Lucius this should take anywhere between six months and a year.  By which time Rome should have elected new Consuls and the problem of what to do about Britannia becomes a problem for someone else!

Think current feeling amongst the main Senatorial factions is that they do not really want to adopt a Brittanic policy which is going to cost more money and if anything they would like to re-deploy at least some of the troops deployed to Britannia elsewhere.  Perhaps after beating up a few Druids and getting some locals to line up and promise to be nice and civilized.  

Of course it will help policy making a lot if the Senate could actually work out what they have in Britannia and what this is costly v income from province.  After recent report on cost of Judea v revenue doubt if this is going to make pretty reading.  But assume another six months for team Rome to consider the information and decide upon a policy which may or may not involve a invasion of Caladonia.

Think the only things likely to speed up invasion of Cladonia would be a Player Character Gov of Britannia out to make a name for himself.  That or the Chaos Gods on Mount Agema are so keen to see Vitellus get on a ship and risk Jason F special naval dice that his characters brother, a Legion and probably another Eagle go for a walk in the mist and vanish.  After all he is only currently looking for 24,000 missing Romans what is another 10,000 between friends.

Could be spot on.. but business before pleasure: How many praetorians are left and where are they likely to be? That and do we actually have any (reasonable) way to identify how much it costs to run various player and NPC provinces?

The only thing you have missed off is that if Igorius ran for Consul or put himself forward as Emperor …….. He’d command a lot of respect, sheep and static electricity.

Regor wrote:
Could be spot on.. but business before pleasure: How many praetorians are left and where are they likely to be? That and do we actually have any (reasonable) way to identify how much it costs to run various  player and NPC provinces?

The only thing you have missed off is that if Igorius ran for Consul or put himself forward as Emperor …….. He’d command a lot of respect, sheep and static electricity.

With the 800 odd Praetorian Cavalry either dead or disbanded Cordus seems to be down to the 4000 Infantry the paper reported less any losses caused as a result of their last battle. Though oddly the morale effect of that victory may have stopped further losses to desertion.

Though perhaps the curse of the Gods and their Pious, Noble and all round jolly good Ponifex Maximus catching up with the rebel Cavalry may help with further desertions.

Surely its the job of the Field Consul and other senior Generals in the field to know where the foe is at all times? But if Cordus and the Guard have been lost my current view is that the number of hostile war ships would put off enough merchants to spoil any plan for Cordus and his whole Army to sail off into the sun set. Though a couple of ships can probably found for Cordus and his senior officers to sail off while the rank and file disband and merge back into civilian life.

The other option Cordus would seem to have is having slipped away from the pursuit to go on a death or glory march back too Rome and attack from the south were the Guard do not face a defended river crossing. It is to be hoped that Otha first wife does not decide to fall into the arms of the killer of her 2nd husband because of a row with the field Consul over soft furnishings and her golden chamber pots!

Hard to say who is paying for what - though you could always ask treasury ministers both in Rome and in the non Senatorial provinces for information. Think a bit of a in game fudge was made with player positions on the Rhine and Danube frontiers and in Britannia so they started out with enough "local" income under their control to pay the upkeep of troops under their command. Even though historically their was no way these provincess would have raised enough income to pay the upkeep of all of these legions. So "in game" supplies of food, money etc drawn by Legions from home provinces start under control of local player.

While when players have gained a new title some of them have "inherited" a defecit spending position and suddenly found they have to fund it themselves. Thus revenue from Roman Egypt is now being used to fund a deficit in Judea ( so what happened before ????). And are the Judean locals even a bit fond of Rome for all this generous spending in their province?

My character in game just works on basis that the historically Iberian linked Legions get supplies of olive oil, silver, grain, fish souce, wine etc sent from home and a matter of course. Well they sure do not produce olive oil in Britannia or on the Rhine so it has to come from somewhere. And he often tops up supplies with extra's and letters from home etc.

All perfectly normal and historic but I do wonder if a clash happened between views of a Legate or a Gov sent out by Rome ordering something bad or illegal and the views of their local political leaders back home. Who's wishes would these Legions follow?

J Flower wrote:Obviously attacking Barbarian Germans & trying to free Roman Citizens is not the Roman way to do things, well at least going by the drop in Glory it caused.
Along with Igorius failed attempts to restart his love life, seems life on the Rhenus Frontier isn't a happy one.

Still at least Vitellus, brother has managed to arrive, in Britannia. I know Agema have a set of "Special dice" for anything Naval I attempt, so sending him by Ship was a big risk . Now he is in Britannia Lucius will hopefully start prodding some buttock.  

I like to think Lucius was saved from the perils of the sea by a huge offering of horses to the Sea God by Navy Marines.

But probably a bit early to start handing out the best wine and pickled door mice on a stick. Lucius has still got to survive the Perils of Britannia like rain, midges, lack of wine and civilized food and drink plus the little blue men with big swords. Finish his report on the Island without damage to his Gravitas caused by bursting into laughter or tears in public. Then risk the perils of the sea (special dice) again.

Why do I suspect the Senate is likely to see a campaign of inflluence to find the Gov of Britannia a new job and replace him with Licius due to J Flower not being willing to have a leading member of his faction tempting fate and the special dice by getting anywhere near water again. Though if this campaign in the Senate works I do not give much for the chances of the Roman British Fleet.

Stuart, the above has been really helpful. Thank you. Fits with my thinking pretty well so hopefully "team Rome" will come through the Cordus affair and then be able to knock out other contenders one by one.... However I suspect the Gods of MA will roll their dice and cause problems on the Danube and elsewhere to "keep us guessing".

It seems Geminus lost a Cohort north the Danube last month....

I think JF is being very sensible and just hope J2 can re-join soon.

Stay safe folks

Regor wrote:Stuart, the above has been really helpful. Thank you. Fits with my thinking pretty well so hopefully "team Rome" will come through the Cordus affair and then be able to knock out other contenders one by one.... However I suspect the Gods of MA will roll their dice and cause problems on the Danube and elsewhere to "keep us guessing".

It seems Geminus lost a Cohort north the Danube last month....

I think JF is being very sensible and just hope J2 can re-join soon.

Stay safe folks  

Just like Glori has a dice role every year for bad harvests and other rolls for bad things like earthquakes, storms, floods etc.

My theory is that every month in RIB Agema rolls dice to see if bad things happen to a player or in an area.

Suspect that these rolls may be weighted towards Frontier provinces, Rome and Judea. But we have had revolts, floods, famines and disease outbreaks in other provinces well away from the frontiers and know hot spots such as the outbreaks of disease in Lusitania and Italy.

Clearly some things like disease outbreaks would seem to be totally random and down to a dice roll. But the big unknown in the game is are things like the murder of Nero and the revolt in Asia purely down to a random dice roll or have players (naming no names but after game has ended think the "Confessions of the King of Parthia" could be interesting) had their thumb on the scales of fate?

I also suspect but can not prove that player actions may indirectly influence the chance of bad things happening. So Roman raids across the Danube and the Rhine may increase the chance of counter raids, or even reduce it for a time. Also wonder if a player moves top commanders and troops away from the frontier does this increase the chance of Barbarian raids or revolts?

Bit like a lower population involved in farming can increase chance of a harvest failure can a reduced garrison strength increase the chances of trouble?

My character would like to think having a high honour and a Priesthood helps to protect against the dreaded D20 of the Chaos Gods on Mount Agema but some how doubts it.

Well thats it - turn submitted but I’d like to give apols for my poor comms in the letters section. [normal service will be resumed next month].
Hope your scribblings are going well and that the D20 of DOOM is kind to you. Whatever your view of Rome.