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September 1707
Honour:
Emperor of Hispania still on top providing solid proof that Lord Fong’s assertion that western barbarians don’t understand honour may be right… The Electoral Prince of Hanover and The King of France are both close behind.
Versailles:
Many snails were eaten in celebration of various royal birthdays. Khatt remained the talk of the court, with suggestions that drugging peasants instead of feeding them might improve the economy.
France finally admits it too is baffled by what is going on in Ingria, and decides that sending a French Cardinal as an ambassador should help. Many others think that this is a couple of months early to send a fat, old white guy in red, particularly if there aren’t any presents involved.
French artists arted a lot.
France seems to think English prisoners need exercise, since it is now marching them back to the coast.
London:
Some librarian from the master general’s office of ordinance has purportedly been kidnapped. Or killed. Or made to eat English cooking which is about the same.
Hull:
A Royal Society ball is being organized. Funds are being raised which will go to the Royal Society. Really. Truly. We completely promise.
Hamburg:
The city council, having failed to pay for a spine upgrade, immediately reverse their decision to join Prussia. They beg Prussia not to be mad that they took the bribes but didn’t do the deed. “It’s not our fault we are invertebrates. We won’t develop spines for another couple of hundred years.”
Hanover:
Stop the presses! Queen Anne is here, and apparently is on time!
Prussia:
Demonstrating that they have enough spine for everybody, they insult “Viennese dolts” for objecting to Hamburg selling themselves out.
Vienna:
Hispanic Ambassador oozed his way into court to offer more jewelry to the princess.
Melk:
Emperor Leopold did something with an abbey in Melk. Nobody even knows where in the blazes Melk is.
Moscow:
Muscovites are now praying for the Tsar’s safe return. World wonders when “paying the Tsar’s ransom” will occur to them.
Lisbon:
The court drank outside. The court drank inside. Eventually the men got bored and went drinking while watching the ritual slaughter of livestock at “bull fights”.
Viseu:
A cathedral and a market square were refurbished here. Populace begs for one-way road out of small backwards town in Portugal.
Gondor:
When it is reported that the monks have gone missing en route, the emperor offers prayers, then quietly whispers, “plenty more where they came from.”
West coast of Africa:
French ambassador wanders around visiting African kingdoms lying to them. Tells oldest joke in colonial book, “We promise to leave you alone.”
Muscat:
Omani close their army camp which is probably good, since Muscat isn’t theirs!
Isfahan:
Shah throws party, confusing European ambassadors. If nobody gets drunk and vomits in the shrubberies, how can it be a party?
Delhi:
+1 baby girl, -1 princess
Laswari:
Russians give 3 mud dab huts to the Moghul. Both agree to tell everyone it was actually 4 huts.
Lahari Bandar:
Maharatan field army of 14 matchlock battalions, 22 lancer squadrons, ten artillery, and 3 elephants arrive. Both fishing boats still refuse to engage Moghul blockade. Explain that the heavy rain interrupts their hashish smoking and is no weather to fight in.
Quebec:
French offering natives small pox vaccinations. It is almost like they’re trying to prevent the judgment of God from killing off all the brown people.
Moghul:
Promise to investigate death of prince. Top men are on it. Top men.
Honour:
Emperor of Hispania still on top providing solid proof that Lord Fong’s assertion that western barbarians don’t understand honour may be right… The Electoral Prince of Hanover and The King of France are both close behind.
Versailles:
Many snails were eaten in celebration of various royal birthdays. Khatt remained the talk of the court, with suggestions that drugging peasants instead of feeding them might improve the economy.
France finally admits it too is baffled by what is going on in Ingria, and decides that sending a French Cardinal as an ambassador should help. Many others think that this is a couple of months early to send a fat, old white guy in red, particularly if there aren’t any presents involved.
French artists arted a lot.
France seems to think English prisoners need exercise, since it is now marching them back to the coast.
London:
Some librarian from the master general’s office of ordinance has purportedly been kidnapped. Or killed. Or made to eat English cooking which is about the same.
Hull:
A Royal Society ball is being organized. Funds are being raised which will go to the Royal Society. Really. Truly. We completely promise.
Hamburg:
The city council, having failed to pay for a spine upgrade, immediately reverse their decision to join Prussia. They beg Prussia not to be mad that they took the bribes but didn’t do the deed. “It’s not our fault we are invertebrates. We won’t develop spines for another couple of hundred years.”
Hanover:
Stop the presses! Queen Anne is here, and apparently is on time!
Prussia:
Demonstrating that they have enough spine for everybody, they insult “Viennese dolts” for objecting to Hamburg selling themselves out.
Vienna:
Hispanic Ambassador oozed his way into court to offer more jewelry to the princess.
Melk:
Emperor Leopold did something with an abbey in Melk. Nobody even knows where in the blazes Melk is.
Moscow:
Muscovites are now praying for the Tsar’s safe return. World wonders when “paying the Tsar’s ransom” will occur to them.
Lisbon:
The court drank outside. The court drank inside. Eventually the men got bored and went drinking while watching the ritual slaughter of livestock at “bull fights”.
Viseu:
A cathedral and a market square were refurbished here. Populace begs for one-way road out of small backwards town in Portugal.
Gondor:
When it is reported that the monks have gone missing en route, the emperor offers prayers, then quietly whispers, “plenty more where they came from.”
West coast of Africa:
French ambassador wanders around visiting African kingdoms lying to them. Tells oldest joke in colonial book, “We promise to leave you alone.”
Muscat:
Omani close their army camp which is probably good, since Muscat isn’t theirs!
Isfahan:
Shah throws party, confusing European ambassadors. If nobody gets drunk and vomits in the shrubberies, how can it be a party?
Delhi:
+1 baby girl, -1 princess
Laswari:
Russians give 3 mud dab huts to the Moghul. Both agree to tell everyone it was actually 4 huts.
Lahari Bandar:
Maharatan field army of 14 matchlock battalions, 22 lancer squadrons, ten artillery, and 3 elephants arrive. Both fishing boats still refuse to engage Moghul blockade. Explain that the heavy rain interrupts their hashish smoking and is no weather to fight in.
Quebec:
French offering natives small pox vaccinations. It is almost like they’re trying to prevent the judgment of God from killing off all the brown people.
Moghul:
Promise to investigate death of prince. Top men are on it. Top men.
Last edited by Deacon on Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
[though I could just blame that Scotch bloke, who insulted me, as the obvious culprit 
]
do feel I need to do something...otherwise someone might enslave my ambassadors!