May 1703 turn has just arrived and for the edification of non players (of course) and those who would like to read the highlights of the turn from the Papal viewpoint, I can report that the world need wait no longer for an answer to the most important questions of the time.
King Louis is officially mad. In March he attempted to annex his ally, Savoy. In April, thinking he was Pope, he summoned his own Church Council, which this month refused to vote on his attempt to annex Avignon and accede to a rather confusing and legally illiterate series of assertions about the Galician Church. This month he has broken diplomatic silence and I received this letter, which without commenting on the accuracy of the views expressed, I publish as evidence:
To Pope Gregory
From Louis XIV of France
I find it hard to write in civility to you given that you in turn have been writing to various leaders in Europe demanding they declare war on France. Therefore, your demands of France otherwise you will support war against France show your hypocrisy.
Louis XIV of France
Who is Pope Gregory? The last Pope Gregory (the 15th) died in 1623. And what does the second clause (it makes no grammatical sense so cannot be called a sentence) actually mean? Is this enough proof that Louis is insane? I will ask the Cardinals for their opinion, but if anyone can provide an alternative explanation why King Louis is attempting to write letters to the dead, I would like to know. Perhaps I should give more credence to the reports from Fr.Pierre "a True Catholic of the Cevennes", Cornetto "a very disturbed yet loyal Catholic in Savoy", and the Apollo Association. None of these characters/organisations have any links to me, but they do seem to reflect increasingly mainstream opinion in their areas.
Could King Louis have found someone called Gregory (possibly living in the Cevennes?) who he now imagines not only to be Pope, but to have declared war on France using an imaginary army. Said imaginary army seems to have been victorious this month when 4,200 mercenaries deserted leaving a rather frightened 150 French hussars to run from a few pitchforks. Being a military dunce I had no idea pitchforks could be so effective - I may have to ask my officer whether we should equip the Papal army of 9 men with them and if so how many spikes ... 2, 3 or 4, since it is clear they don't like it up them. I suppose the official response from Versailles will be to claim this as a victory, but I doubt that the loss of more than 95% of the French force will be viewed as anything other than a humiliation by the rest of the world.
I am also puzzled by Savoy's belief that the Papacy has declared war - not according to my orders or my turn details. It is a bit late for the Duke to use insanity as his excuse to get the excommunication lifted, but perhaps he is simply following the suggestions of King Louis the Mad? His statement in the newspaper also refers to a Pope Gregory. So could it be that we have an imposter called Gregory, going around the world pretending to be Pope, writing letters to upset France and Savoy? Has "Pope Gregory" declared war on Savoy, in which case I do hope the Duke can send his armies to find him, for we really can't have 2 Popes. I do find it very odd that "Pope Gregory" is mentioned by both France and Savoy this turn when I have never heard of him and I don't believe he has made an appearance before. Does anyone know how this could have occurred?
I would write more, but for those who are expecting long debates or correspondence this month, I may disappoint ... I have just had a new addition to the family, a rather energetic silver Bengal kitten, who although he is prone to mad half hours, makes a great deal more sense than this month's newspaper. I would post a picture for you, but I can't work out how to do that, technology not being a Papal strongpoint.
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